What Happened on Saturday?

Well, I woke up at 0430, after only a fucking hour of sleep, because I was watching the entire 4th season of Outnumbered, which will be the last season of the show as we know it.  I took a shower, listened to a little music, and left the house at about 0615. If I knew that something was about to go dinkum, I would have jacked off while I was at home. Well, I got into town at about 0645, and I walked up to North Tryon Street. What is wrong with walking up North Tryon Street, to see how the Presbyterian Hospital Invitational Criterium is gonna play out? Hell, in my opinion, if I was to ride a bike somewhere, it would be somewhere fruitful, not in a damn circle. Well, after leaving from North Tryon, I walked back to the Police Station, where I catch the Number 3, 4, 17, and 23 buses. The bus I am gonna catch was Number 4 Country Club bus.

I am on the Country Club bus, and we are in the ghetto neighbourhood of Belmont. It wouldn’t be as ghetto if you wouldn’t have pushers working 24 hours a day, trying to infest the African American community with the bug called crack cocaine. But, this guy got on the bus, who knew good and damn well, I was eyeing him down ever since 2010.  He was a mighty fine piece of old meat.  We were talking, and then, his stop came up. Not one or two stops after his stop, this Bible thumper got on the damn bus, and he was talking about this church in a cut. Plus, the bus driver was talking about how he refuses to drive buses at night, repeating the chorus of Whodini’s “Freaks Come Out At Night”. Hell, freaks come out more in the day, then they do at night… but I do have to align with what he says, because out of all the times I got neck, 75% of it happened after 1930. When my stop came up, which was The Plaza and Belvedere, I pulled the ding cord and the man asked me “Are you saved?” I looked at him crazily, because he should know that CATS buses are state, and there is a definitive separation of church and state. Some people don’t get that idea, either. How there is a preacher who aligns with the Nation of Islam preaching at the Transit Centre during the weekends.

We got to Second Harvest Food Bank of Metrolina at about 0845, which was about 10 minutes after leaving from Time Out Youth.  We were stacking bread and toilet paper and other shit. I love helping others, especially if it means putting food on a underprivileged persons’ table, and giving them toilet paper to wipe their arse with. We left at about 1145, and went back to TOY, only to leave 15 minutes later to eat at Showmars. After that, we came back to TOY to brief about the Day of Silence. I left TOY at about 1400, and caught the Number 4 bus back into town, and walked into town. I was seeing what all was going on in Uptown, because I wasn’t about to leave to go home immediately, even though I was tired as a motherfucker. I got back to the OUTSIDE of the Transit Centre and I saw one of my old neighbours. He is the only convicted paedophile who is good in my book. So, we were smoking Newport cigarettes, and talking about the goings-on of the flat block. At 1505, I would have never thought this would have happened because I thought I was in a safe space, but I got arrested for some damn reason. Like I have been doing every time I got arrested in Allied Barton Security Services’ jurisdiction, I cussed them the hell out, but I said some things that may have fucked my case up. I called them dago faggots, ugly dyke honkies and fat heifers. I was on the way to the gaol, which is located out the way at Gaol-Annex, much to my chagrin, and the security guard who arrested me, asked me about my YouTube videos about Allied Barton. I told him that I’m not obligated to take down that video, since it hasn’t been touched since 2011. I got out at about 2345.  I got back into town at about 0030.  I got home at about 0200, and I went straightaway to the Mecklenburg County Sheriff’s Website, and saw what I was arrested for… 2nd degree trespassing. Oh fucking ada.  I’ll give you an update next Sunday. I got a feeling that I will be trapped in the house again, having to watch porn 18 hours a day and jack off every hour on the fucking hour.

And if anyone is looking at this from Allied Barton Security Services or CATS, I had to write this. I needed to voice my honest opinion on this note.

Abrupt Hiatus From Blogging

Well, the reason why I haven’t updated my blog in about a month, is because there has been a lot of shit going on with me, from knife fights with my ex and my phone getting stolen. Well, I am just blogging to tell you that I am alright, and just don’t get your panties all in a bunch. Shit, who would have thought trying to get your dick sucked would get your ass robbed by some crazy ass motherfucker? Now, don’t knock my swag, because I can get my dick sucked fast. It’s just sometimes when your ass is in heat, your virtue and whoreries just get completely out of whack. That’s why I made the decision to write off all men. Well, that has been going along pretty well, because the men who do try to pursue me, they are told right off the bat that “I don’t carry any money, and if I did, I don’t condone prostitution, and so…”; and so, they walk off. 

Well, I am on high alert for Wednesday night and the entirety of Thursday because of the simple fact that the guy who stole my phone told me that he was gonna buy me another Android phone. I don’t necessarily want a new  phone. Plus, if he reneges, I will, after seeing my probation officer, put him in a choke hold and drag him to the Best Buy and I am gonna fucking tell him to get me another phone. To him “Suck my dick, you ugly bastard!”

Potpourri Saturdays: Rico Minger and Windows 7

If you had been looking at my blog anytime after Wednesday morning at 0001, you would know that that I was in hospital because I checked myself in my damn self, because I wasn’t about to go to gaol because of a faggot ass motherfucker by the name of Rico Minger. I won’t have to worry about him suing me for a defamation of character suit, because he rides the short bus. Well, I was in class on Tuesday, and Rico called me. I told him that I was in class, and that I was gonna call him back. It didn’t pass anything but 2 minutes and 30 seconds, and my phone vibrated. It was Rico’s number, but was it Rico? No; it was Rico’s “boyfriend”, telling me not to call him again because if I did, he was gonna kick my ass. First of all, your motherfucking ass should have told me this your damn self, and not have your boyfriend to call me up telling me not to call you on the threat that he would kick my ass. After leaving Cornwell Centre, I went home, and got ready to go out. I was in war mode, and he was at the Transit with a gaggle of women. So, I went and cussed his ass out, because he know he was dead wrong for what he did.  To think he called me from another phone while I was waiting for the Number 3 bus to go to hospital (or to the Transit to kick his ass), is even worse. Well, when I heard his voice, I hung up the phone. I will not have you calling my phone trying to rectify what the fuck your new man said. When I was on the bus, I had a nice time thinking about what to do, and to weigh out my choices. Whether to fight you and your man, to cuss you out or just go straight to Accident and Emergency. It worked on my part, because I did two of the things I weighed. I did cuss you out, and I went straight to A&E after the fact. You really do ride the short bus if you called my phone twice leaving two messages on my motherfucking answerphone, talking in jabberwocky or some other gobbledygook-ish language regular ol’ people can’t understand.  Piece of shit ass motherfucker, waste of time, space, sperm, egg, ass, pussy and federal procurement. If the United States Treasury Department found out that you was using your disability cheque to buy pot, they would cut your benefits, make you pay it back, and be absolutely livid at you. Hell, they might blacklist you from everything from Foodstamps all the way to Medicaid. To think I was with you for as long as I did makes me look dumb and naive. Why the fuck does my naiveté get in the way of everything? Well, because I take people like you for a good thing, when you ain’t. You are just a piece of shit. I hope you wash your ass for your new man, cos you haven’t taken a shower in Lord knows when. I find time to take a shower every single motherfucking day because I like feeling clean. A clean ass is good ass. You got ALL the time in your hands, and you spend it bopping at the damn Transit. Ugh! Take some of that time to wash your ass. It only takes 15 minutes to effectively wash your ass WITH SOAP and with the water on medium hot. Since I know what the fuck your house has, I know your house doesn’t have a water thermometer so you have to test the water. If it’s scalding hot—because you don’t take showers or baths—it is good enough for you. You need to go to a motherfucking speech pathologist, because you are worse than a little child when you talk. I can barely understand you! Are you even speaking English? I don’t think you are. The only time I can understand you is when you are talking shit about someone or something, and that’s bad. I’m over you, and when I change my phone number, you can best believe I am not gonna call you. If you was the last nigga on this earth, I’d go out with a white person. Speaking of which, are you smoking crack? Because you are acting pretty outlandish from this time last week, especially noting I had walked hills and dales to look for your ass. Crackheaded ass motherfucker. Silly ass bitch.

I finally can say “Windows Vista Home Premium is now noted as legacy.” Now, no one in my house uses Windows Vista. In my house, we now use Windows XP Professional and Windows 7 Home Premium and Windows 7 Ultimate. Yay! No more flickering screens, jerry-rigging my computer or unexpected shutdowns. I am proud of the strides I have been through in order to get it, and this is one of the happiest weeks I have ever had. What strides I went through to get Windows 7? Well, sitting through a tour and seminar conscripted by Jacob’s Ladder at Microsoft, and all this other shit. Honey, I can tell you that that tour and seminar was bleeding boring, plus I was hungry, and THEY DIDN’T SUPPLY US WITH ANY NOSH! The biggest corporation in the world behind Wal-Mart should be able to supply us with at least a burger and fries. Anyways, we did this little survey and my name was pulled for Windows 7 Ultimate CD. The only problem, is that I am currently working on a 30 day trial until they ship out the product key. Hopefully I will get the key by Wednesday. I do not like trials. If I have it on my computer, I want it to be the full, unlimited use version. But, I am still not being a bitch about it, because at least I finally upgraded my computer to summat better than Windows Vista.

21 February 2012- Palavers at Cornwell Centre

Leave your stress behind is what my teacher at Jacob’s Ladder told me. Well, do you think I am taking into heed of it? Hell no. Well, I am at the Cornwell Centre, and my ex called me, and told me that the motherfucker was gonna call me back. Do you think he called me back? Nope, his boyfriend quote-unquote called me, and blessed me out on the phone. When I went back to the room, I was cussing like a sailor because he tried to chat me up last night. Well, ain’t nothing happened. I walked up hills and dales for that motherfucker, only because I was in perpetual heat. Hell, I still am to the day. Well, I told my mum that I was gonna go to Behavioral Health to be checked out. I get on the number 3 bus and got off at my regular stop. I walked to the Transit, and I saw Rico. That was icing on the motherfucking cake after I saw that faggot nigga Jarrod at the Transit looking fucked up. He asked me where was I going? That was what opened up the floodgates of Hell. I cussed him out and I had a nice crowd, including the security guards at the Transit. They looked on approvingly, and I don’t think that would have prejudiced my chances of riding the buses. Shit, I told him how his boyfriend needs to not call my phone, wasting my minutes like a fucking dumbass. I left the Transit cussing and walking down Trade Street taking about how he don’t wipe his ass and it looks encrusted for days on end. He needs to be like me. Someone who washes their arse every single day. I walked my ass to Presbyterian Hospital ER. I told the nurse in triage that I was neither suicidal nor homicidal. What a partial lie. I wanted to slit that motherfuckers throat. Him and his. More after Jacob’s Ladder on Wednesday. Which is tomorrow. So stay tuned, because I have been in this damn waiting room for over 5 hours now.

Sent from my LG Optimus V Android by Virgin Mobile.

18 February 2012-A Script Of My Call To My Soon-To-Be Ex

The following is a script of a call that I may have to make, for the simple fact that this man might have someone on the side. I told him that seeing other people while I am in absentia is encouraged, but since I am in his life more than he thinks, I stress to him that that component is over and done with. I don’t think he got the memo. Now, if he was to get on Skype, he would see a link to this blog posting. My alter ego has been apportioned to take the wheel. Reader’s discretion advised.

>> (phone trills)

>> Ex: Hello?

>> Darius: Hey.

>> Ex: Why are you calling me?

>> Darius: Why am I calling you? Because most lovers don’t just text. They do the whole she-bang. They call, text, e-mail and Skype people. For the past month, you haven’t done neither. How busy are you that you can’t send the only person who cares for you enough to walk 500 miles for your ass?

>> Ex: Well, my mum does. And I have been busy.

>> Darius: Look it, I go to Jacob’s Ladder every day except Saturdays and Sundays. I go there Mondays thru Fridays from 0900 to 1200 and Tuesdays and Thursdays from 1330 to 1630. I commute from Cornwell Centre on Selwyn Avenue to my flat, which is a 90 minute ride. If that isn’t busy, than what is? You sit at home all day, eating ramen noodles, sleeping, on Skype and milling around on the Internet. Guess what? Did it ever occur to you that I don’t have that kind of pleasure or time to do that?

>> Ex: Yeah, I do that; and what? You are gonna scrutinise me for that?

>> Darius: During my ban, you texted me all day everyday asking me was I coming down to see you. Now that I have seen you, what the hell you do? You virtually drop off the face of the earth. And yes, I am scrutinising you for that. You don’t wanna explore your options. All you wanna do is sit at home all day, looking at Dish Network and look at sales papers on shit you want.

>> Ex: What options?

>> Darius: You don’t wanna ride on the bus, because “you don’t like to be around people” and “you can’t be around people who smokes”. Look at where you live. They smoke anything that can be smoked; hell, if they could, they’d smoke the leaves off the trees. And look at me. I am 19 years old, an convicted felon with Asperger Syndrome and an anger problem. I’m a person who don’t like to be around people, but I have to go somewhere. Ugh.

>> Ex: What is the “ugh” for?

>> Darius: Well, because if I have to make amends with the people in society in order for me to get somewhere, you can make amends to go to The Olive Garden with a motherfucker who loves you just who you are. On the bus. And what kind of mental problems do you have? And do you have an anger problem? I don’t think you have neither.

>> Ex: I don’t think you know what you are talking about.

>> Darius: I don’t think I don’t know what I am talking about. You are 22 years old, cute, buff and you need to get out of that GODDAMN BED AND GET OUT SOMEWHERE!

>> Ex: I do go places; such as doctors appointments and church.

>> Darius: Those are places that you must go to. Go somewhere you don’t need to go. Hell, hang out at the Transit.

>> Ex: I would love it if you would just hang up now.

>> Darius: Not on your Nellie. I am sick and tired of you giving me the runaround like I am a common doormat. You got a look at my dick in person, and guess what? You kick me to the kerb like I was trash. You ain’t texted in over a month, I am in heat, and I need my dick sucked. Will I get it from you? No. Why? Because I am not setting foot in your neighbourhood again, simply because you are giving someone else the time of day. I can’t take this shit no more.

>> Ex: I am not cheating on you, and you are not trash.

>> Darius: But you did take advantage of me and my good dick. I CAN’T HAVE THAT HAPPENING! I am not the motherfucker to hit it and quit, and I am not looking for it. The way you was texting me, I had the feeling that I am loved by someone who loves me back. But, now I feel fucking naive and stupid. I am not about to have that. You know I had to write 4 Dear John letters to send to Toronto, West Charlotte, Raleigh and Fayetteville, and that was a waste of ink and money? In the quest of finding someone to love me, I have a Canadian, a hoodrat, a white guy and a pedant all vying for my love, and guess what happened? I wrote them all off so I could have a loving relationship, acquiescing myself to one person. And that one person was you. Now, the keyword is was. When I got a damn text message at 0300 from your mum telling me that you tried to kill yourself, I was about to say “to hell with that ban; I got a man to save.” What motherfucker would give you that kind of outstanding initiative? Not any of these faggots  you are hobnobbing with. All they care about is “who got the biggest dick on BGC?” Do you know how many people I have had to tell that they need to go on to the next one, because I am not hit-it-and-quit material? Too damn many. I have the feeling to commence to what I told Mr Miller; coming to your flat with my knife, and a cast-iron skillet, dressed in Rocawear and Timberland boots, and kick your door in, bash you upside your head with a damn frying pan and slit your throat. I would even be more of a service to do this: Report it to the police. You are already considered a 5150, just like me. So, let’s leave it at that.

>> Ex: Fuck you. I didn’t take advantage of you or your good dick, and I didn’t know that you had to write 4 Dear John letters, and I didn’t try to kill myself–

>> Darius: What a fucking lowlife. You are saying that your mum lied. She wouldn’t lie like that. I know your mum would lie about something like that.

>> Ex: And this about you coming to slit my throat? I’m reporting you to the police.

>> Darius: Do it! Do me a favour, and do the motherfucking thing, and when I do get out of gaol, I will do a twofer, especially if you have some other motherfucker in your bed while I am in the midst!

>> Ex: I’m getting off the phone–

>> Darius: Lying ass bastard. Fuck you, and your life. When you figure out what you wanna do with your life, and figure out that I was the best motherfucker you got, you e-mail me. The reason I am telling you to do that is because, I’m deleting my BGC, changing my phone number and blocking you on Skype.

>> Ex: Bye.

>> Darius: Fuck you and fuck everything you do.

>> (phone hangs up)

>> Darius: I need a cigarette and some Moscato.

I can’t take this shit anymore, and if he don’t wanna be with me, then that is just fine. Fuck him. So what if I have an anger problem? I don’t give a fuck.

Potpourri Saturdays: Burning Ramen Noodles, Clarification of My Wording, and English Fusion

I will never forget the time I burned some ramen noodles. It was 2006, and I was fiending for some chicken flavoured ramen noodles. I forgot that I had the pan on regulo 3 and I went to play the Xbox. Back then, we didn’t care if we had a Xbox or an Xbox 360, just as long as it got the job done of keeping us out of trouble. That scarred me for life. So, when I was in Jacob’s Ladder, I was telling the man who was teaching my class, Mr Boling, that I need to get some information about this little place called “Community Culinary of Charlotte”, since it has reciprocity with them. He asked “why?”, and so I told him “Because I am tired of burning ramen noodles and depending on Burger King and McDonalds for some nosh. So, I finally got my printer working yesterday before going to class, and I went to fill out the application and they ask you the normal questions that they would ask any person, like “how many children you have”, “Have you been to gaol before” and “are you in a drug rehab”. Hell, they even asked for the name and number for my PO. So, I went ahead and furnished that information for them. And you know what? I should have dropped off my application while I was at the Home Economist Market, because that is on the same side of town. Oh well, what’s done is done. I will call them Monday and see if they are open.

Someone read my blog and asked me on the bus about my “raping sex offenders” bit on the last Potpourri Saturdays post. So, I told her frankly, “I believe that the children are the future and I am dedicated to preserving the future. By raping the rapists, child molesters, and abductors, they will get their just desserts, because there is nothing the victims want more, than to have some sort of closure. If I find out that there is a rapist, child molesters or an abductor in my midst, I will let them pass by. I will still be able to have a cavalier relationship with them, but they are gonna be my bitch, especially if I find that they glaze me like a Cinnabon like the last 2 motherfuckers. I am looking for those two, and waiting for them to fuck up. And for the girl who asked me about the “raping sex offenders” bit, I stand by what I said.  If the police gets ahold of this, I will tell them that when you have sex offenders who are in heat, and bisexual men who are in heat 24 hours a day, guess what’ll happen? Some men are gonna be pissy bitches. So, this isn’t clarification, because I meant every single thing I said about that.

This is something that irks people to the core, but I can’t help it. Simply because of my autistic mindset and going through speech therapy. To me, English Fusion is a mix up of American, Canadian, English and Scottish English. Hell, my computer is set to Australian English, which is a mix up from other English dialects.  For example, I told a male PO at the probation office that “I needed to intermit for a drink of water and a fag.” He said “What?” I said, “A fag is a cigarette.” Same holds truth with the class that I am in; one guy asked me what is a “straight” after I told the teacher that I needed to have a fag.  Well, a “straight” is, well… a straight. I would appreciate it if he doesn’t act homophobic while in the most LGBT populated ZIP code while I am in his presence. Also, it irks my teacher when I asked to be moved from Central to West, because I hate being near a creche. He asked me “What’s a creche?” I told him “A creche is a daycare.” I call a couch a chesterfield, food nosh and money dosh. Well, I need both some nosh and some dosh before having to endure a man who speaks broken English and screaming kids in a nearby creche on Tuesday.

Potpourri Saturdays: Darius Ridenour, Fucked Up Eating Habits, and Letters of Explanation

As you have seen on the news (to those who watch WBTV Channel 3), I have an alias (or alter-ego) that I use when I leave from my probation-coerced duties of attending classes at Jacob’s Ladder. Here are some of the main differences between me (Lamarr) and my alter-ego (Darius): I’m 21. Darius is 19. I am a misdemeanant and caught my first charge in March of 2011. Darius is a convicted felon and caught his first charges in December 2011. I am 240lbs and 5’11”. Darius is 275lbs and 6’2”. We both share the same views on many of the things, but the thing is Darius will act on them, and I will wait for a minute and weigh out the reactions. Things like raping sex offenders, being against communism, against divorces, for same sex marriages, for the death penalty only for convicted paedophiles, and against building Wal-Mart Supercentre in Uptown Charlotte.  We are both democrats, and we both like to have our own house, so we can run around the house asshole naked.  We both try and stick to our own Operation Sexy branches. Darius wanna lose 125lbs, and I wanna lose 90lbs. Speaking of which, we both stick to Dr Oz’s 35lb rule. Now, if you think I am talking about my boyfriend, think again. If my boyfriend don’t act right, and fast, I am kicking his ass to the kerb. Anyhoo, I am talking about my alter-ego. My alter-ego has been hard and I have been semi-hard, because if someone calls him a faggot, he will drop everything and fuck their ass up. I tell you, if someone else calls me a faggot, Darius will come out, because Darius or I will never take that again. Regardless of what our respective probation officers say, we got to do what we gotta do. As long as Darius finishes anger management and Jacob’s Ladder (at the west campus), and I finish Jacob’s Ladder at their main campus, we will stay on our high graces. But to whoever calls me a faggot, they better have the Lloyd’s of London on speed dial after I graduate from Jacob’s Ladder.

Weekends are usually my day to pig out, because when I get finished doing whatever I am doing on the weekdays, I be completely pooped out to even think of eating a complete, or completely balanced dinner. Like for instance, on Mondays and Wednesdays, coming home from Time Out Youth, I get home at around 2230 and I at least see what my mum cooked, and then I make the determination on whether or not I will pass on it. Foods like meatloaf and Salisbury steaks, is foods that I automatically pass on, because I cannot eat that. For some reason, my stomach cannot digest it like I used to. I know eating little or not eating at all is detrimental to Operation Sexy, to the same degree if I eat my family out of house and home. Sometimes, breakfast is the only meal I eat. Sometimes, it’s lunch. To help save myself from the trouble of not eating at all, I will try and carry something for me to eat everywhere I go, because this may make me even bigger. I don’t want that to happen.

Going back to my lessons at Jacob’s Ladder, as you know, I have had a couple of bouts with the law. Well, 7 bouts… 2 restraining orders, 2 restraining order violations, 1 stalking summons, a communicating threats warrant, and a disorderly conduct charge. So, when the teacher gave the class back our background checks, in which I was all for, because I didn’t know what all my charges were, I was appalled that the disorderly conduct (at the terminal) charge wasn’t dropped yet. What I think happened was I have to pay all my court costs, get off of supervised probation and then get a transcript of what the judge said, because the courts are giving Yungie the run-around. So, I have to make a letter of explanation to go in my job search portfolio. It’s just a jerry-baked version of what you would say if you was actually sorry about what happened. I kid you not, I was apologetic at first, but since he tried to play a silly ass stunt like that again, I put my apologetic pot on the back burner. But, I typed it up, because it actually came from a professional, because if I was to make it, it would be more of a blame game. He blames me for giving him a heart attack, and I blame him for sending me to gaol WHILE I HAD BLOODY STREP! Going to gaol while having strep is not fun, getting let out 6 hours later is no fun either. I have this crazy feeling that I am gonna have to have a talk with either my teacher or one of the counsellors… after I do a check on their background. 

Shooting At Northlake Mall—C’est La Vie

At Jacob’s Ladder, I have to find 15 different employers who are either hiring or accepting applications. To me, accepting applications are just another way to keep Iron Mountain in business. So, on Monday, I went over to Northlake Mall, and it wasn’t but 15 minutes before I heard 5 gunshots. Someone got shot outside in the parking lot between Dillard’s and Dick’s Sporting Goods. Speaking of which, I do need to go to Dick’s Sporting Goods and ask them if they are hiring. I am gonna be the utmost truthful to you, I will go back to Northlake today and get at least 6 more employers to sign this paper, because I do need to get a job and continue to be compliant with the program so I can continue going. I’m doing pretty well at it… well, not the fact that most of the places I went to were accepting applications, but how I reacted to those who told me “I’m not signing a paper…” So, I’m gonna try a different approach that looks a little unorthodox, but whatever works. I will have a list of places of where I WILL NOT patronise, even if I have a temptation for something. This all comes after I had a little row with some faggot ass motherfucker at the RadioShack in Carolina Place Mall, and I almost cussed Julio out at the Cinnabon in Carolina Place.  You just got the first two places to avoid patronising or even thinking about. With the autistic mindset that I have been stowed upon, this is something that I stand for. If I tell you I am not gonna patronise this place, I will not.

The show must go on, even after being subjected to something so unusual for this part of Charlotte. Now, across Reames Road is another story. If it happened in Trinity Park or along Beatties Ford Road, I would think nothing of it, because The First 48 glosses it up. I am currently downloading my interview from WBTV CBS’ website, and I will put that on my mobile phone.

Potpourri Saturdays: Pissy Ass People, Subway Flatbread Sandwiches, and Bitch Sticks

Since Saturdays for the next 3 weeks will be an interim off day for me, I will make this “Potpourri Saturdays” blog giving you my week in review. So, on Thursday, I went to Carolina Place Mall, since I was told not to go to the mandated Thursday technology class for this week. In order to get there, you take the Number 4 Country Club bus, to either the Number 20 Sharon Road/Carolina Place Mall or the LYNX. If you take the LYNX, you can catch the Number 58 Pineville bus, and it stops equidistant REI and Dillard’s. Whether to catch the Sharon Road bus or the LYNX to the Pineville bus is dependent on whether or not you have enough time to go through the scenic or the direct route. To me, the direct route is the LYNX to the 58 Pineville bus, and the scenic route is the 20 Sharon Road bus… unless it is after 1900 Mondays-Saturdays or all day on Sundays, then if you need to go out that way, the ONLY bus you can catch is the 58. Anyways, I go to REI, they sign my paper without any problem, and the manager asked me what do I do for fun. I told him that I go camping in extreme weather and go biking. I will call them and see if they have some tyres for a 26” Gary Fisher bike. I went to Dillard’s… got lost. When I finally found the customer service area, the lady said that she don’t know when or if the manager was coming back Thursday. So, I asked for the manager’s name and I wrote on my paper that the company representative refused to sign. I knew already that this was gonna be a hellacious day for trying to get eight people to sign this paper. I went to a few other stores… Abercrombie and Fitch, Build a Bear, American Eagle, Aeropostale, and RadioShack. All of them were fine and dandy, except for Abercrombie and Fitch and RadioShack. It scared the shit out of me how the man jumped up onto the coffee table to work on some lighting issues. What lighting? It was damn near pitch black in Abercrombie and Fitch. I told the manager that I would be back. I’ll go to Northlake’s Abercrombie and Fitch tomorrow after church. I am not gonna say to avoid Abercrombie and Fitch, because I am all for energy and testosterone. Just not only for those who look bleeding gaunt. Now, I went into RadioShack, bad idea, especially for me. I didn’t take my medicine the night before, and I wasn’t about to take any shit. I am so proud to say this. AVOID RADIOSHACK. I went into RadioShack and I asked for a manager. A team member asked me “That would be me.” So, this was a red flag for me, cos it says “team member” on the nametag. I just went ahead and made my introductory speech. When I got to the part about if he could sign my Employee prospect list, he asked me “why should I do that?”. I was about to cuss him out. Well, motherfucker, the reason I need you or your ACTUAL GM to sign this damn paper is because I came 12 miles to try and get a Goddamn job! Now, if you are not gonna sign, I bid you good day, and happy bitching. Zeig Heil. Now, I left, and I said the words no one has ever said with such propensity, voraciousness, and fervour, “I need a fag!” Before I went to the bus stop, I made my last stop for Cinnabon. I wasn’t gonna buy a cinnamon bun, but all I needed was for someone to sign that damn paper. AVOID CINNABON AS WELL. I was about to do a twofer… cuss out KaShaun and Julio. I don’t give a fuck if it was their name or not, or if it is misspelt. I went up to the Cinnabon, and Julio, or whatever kind of name he has, he’s a Julio to me. So, I went to ask him if I can speak to his manager, and he right off the bat., not knowing what the fuck that paper was, gonna tell me that he won’t sign my paper. All you are is just low grade scum working in a pernickety side of town, at a shitty ass job. I don’t even consider Pineville a town. You know what? I said that he was non-compliant, and that the manager or himself refused to sign. So, when I went to class on Friday, I nevertheless got my weekly bus pass and I am basking in it. My mum can ride the bus free for the entire week, starting tomorrow. Even without the information.

Again, on Thursday, I went to the Subway on The Plaza. I know I’m lazy, but it was 0700 in the morning and I needed some nosh. So, I went caught the Number 9 Central Avenue bus and went to the Subway. It is catty-cornered between Harris Teeter and the library. So, I had a coupon that signified that I can get both a cup of Seattle’s Best coffee and any flatbread sandwich that I wanted. So, I got the Sunrise flatbread, which had two pieces of bacon, egg, ham and turkey in it. So, I got it for free, and I didn’t complain. That tasted pretty good! I had to try and drink most of the coffee before the Number 9 bus came and I failed. The coffee was good and all, but I put too little sugar in it. So, when it came time for me to ride the 0810 Number 4 Country Club bus to Jacob’s Ladder, I had ate my flatbread sandwich and drank most of the coffee. The people at Occupy Charlotte wanted to barter with me for a cup of coffee, which I had nothing to barter. I would have gotten them a cup of coffee myself if I had some money, but I didn’t. All I had was a monthly bus pass, my dossier, and a one ride with me. Now, I don’t know if Hamilton Beach or Keurig makes a battery operated coffee percolator, but I wish they did. Coffee on the go!

Today, I went to CVS/pharmacy, and I asked the clerk which was cheaper “Marlboro Skyline 100s or Misty Menthol 120s?” I found out that Misty Menthol 120s are cheaper than Marlboro Skyline 100s, and the only cheaper cigarettes than that is Pall Mall and Marlboro 72s. I see no use in buying 72mm cigarettes or a cigarette caked in wintergreen menthol. So, I left the store buying a pack of Newport 100s and a pack of Misty Menthol 120s. Well, the keyword is 120s. Since most men smoke 100mm cigarettes, I thought I would try a change of pace. Misty, Capri, and Virginia Slims are considered bitch sticks, because of the smoothness of the cigarette and the longer size. Virginia Slims have “superslims”, which smoke very well. I almost broke the cigarette the first time I smoked it. But, I am gonna do this on a trial run, and if anyone asks me why I am smoking bitch sticks, I will tell them that this is a change of pace from buying $6 Newport cigarettes. My next cigarette review will be about the Misty Menthol 120s and the Benson and Hedges’ Menthol 100s. A little warning, B&H’s are about $7 almost anywhere in North Carolina. 

Potpourri Saturdays: Reverting To My Old Font, Kate’s Skating Rink, 4G LTE Phones and Jacobs Ladder

Since people are not acclimatising well to my own handwriting font, I will revert to my old font for the time being. Time being for me is because a fortnight, since there is nothing to blog about since some people told me that they will be filing lawsuits against me for defamation of character. Now, I only type up cigarette reviews, Potpourri Saturdays, and my endeavours with Operation Sexy. Plus, my views haven’t been in the best interests, because all I get is shit from people thinking that this is a porn review site like Banana Guide or Porn Inspector or something like that. Plus it looks hard to read, but of course, it isn’t hard for me to read, because I can read most people’s handwriting. As long as it is not in cursive, I am good. When someone tells me that my old font looks better, because you can personalise your own blog, I will revert to my own handwriting, because my penmanship has never been better. So, if you think that my handwriting font looks better, you can just pop me a comment. I am up for any constructive criticism, not bloody psychobabble. Please don’t tell me that this paragraph of the blog entry looks put together, because I know that.

Since nothing eventful happened today, I will revert to my week in review. On Tuesday, I went to Kate’s Skating Rink, and we had a nice time. Now, I wouldn’t have been able to go if it was for my damn legs. Now, the skating rink is located right at the Gastonia city limits sign, in Gaston County. I went with the people at Time Out Youth, which is an organisation for those who are ages 13 to 23, who are LGBTQIA (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered, Questioning, Intersex and their Allies) to have a safe place to voice their opinions and have a nice time with people who shares the same struggles as they do. Since I am a bisexual, I go there, and will continue to go there, because I am gonna volunteer at Time Out Youth, after I turn 23. About 25 people went, which amount to 20 people from the Monday night discussion, and 5 people from the Wednesday night discussion. So, I get to Time Out Youth at 1745, smelling of two different cigarette brands, and we went to Kate’s. The trip from Plaza-Midwood to Gastonia was about 30 minutes. Damn, I was happy to be out of the area with some of my people who I can relate to. I split my time between skating and eating pizza right on the nose, and I should have acquiesced more time to eating pizza, because I looked the right arse falling on my knees every time a curve comes up and every time I started. About an hour before closing, I started to gain more momentum and started skating without falling (too much). Hell, I’d go again, because that was a good workout.

I tell you, when I get a job, I will be moving to Straight Talk. On their Facebook page, I saw how they big and popular that they have went. They sent a message for the masses telling us that they are gonna be procuring rights to use AT&T’s 4G LTE network for Straight Talk. Knowing if the phone is less than $250 and has dual camera, I will be moving to Straight talk. Now, I do know that the phone is the LG Optimus 2X, and as you know, I enjoy LG phones, because LG has a knack for making nice looking, nice working phones, whilst their competitor over the river in Seoul, makes some shitty ass phones. Now, I’m not knocking Samsung, but I have not had a good rapport with Samsung since the Messager II. Sprint is supposed to roll out 4G LTE this year, and do away with WiMAX technology. I can’t wait too long for Virgin Mobile to come out with 4G and plus, I have more people to talk to, so moving to an unlimited plan seems to be inevitable. I just hope that their plan doesn’t call for the $45 plan to include a $10 or worse $15 mandatory access fee.

My weekday flow will have to change for the next 4 weeks, because I will be participating in a job readiness class that my probation officer wants me to go to. So, I will have to look like a banker and ride the Number 4 Country Club bus earlier than usual, and take a lot of notes. Why take a lot of notes? Well, because I need to absorb all of the shit that these people are talking about, because I really do need to find a job and have a good job doing what I wanna do. The thing about it, is that I will have to change up from the time I wake up, to the time I go to bed at night. Hopefully, those two I can do without any problems. Hell, when I get home from Time Out Youth, I end up falling asleep when I touch my bed. There is a couple times I will not be able to make it. I will not be able to make it. On Thursday, I will not be able to make it, because I have to go and see my PO, and hopefully my PO doesn’t have to tell me that I am going to have to do a piss test, because that is gonna take a while to do, and plus I will be livid if it is the same snooty bastard who had to do my piss test last time.  Another time is jury duty. 20 February is gonna be even worse, because I will have to be at the Courthouse from 0830 to 1730. That is gonna be both boring and hell, and I will be happy if they don’t call me. But I will still get my $14 if it is the last thing I do.

Potpourri Saturdays: Free Pizza, Cigarette Hunt, and Wasted Trips To Southpark

Yesterday and Thursday, Donatos was giving away free pizza to those who type in a code to a shortcode that also fits other restaurants… Not like McDonalds or KFC. I mean regional stores like Qdoba and Donatos. The same Donatos that you find in Charlotte may have a different menu, different style and ethic than one in Hickory. Anyways, when I went to one Donatos (how and why I went to my first Donatos is coming up in the part about “Wasted Trips to Southpark”), they said that they weren’t doing the special. They don’t do the special in stores that are separately owned from the actual corporation. So, I went back to the drawing board. I went back to the “Lil’ Transit” and caught the bus to the one in Dilworth. When I found out how small the pizza was, I said “BLOODY HELL!” I ate that motherfucker whilst waiting on the bus. I wasn’t complaining, cos the pizza was good, and it was hot. I hated that I couldn’t get it to the Donatos that is closer to where I was at the current time. Plus, if I was in Pineville, this would have been called “Wasted Trips to Pineville”, because the one in Pineville closed, and people will have to either drive to Dilworth or Southpark to get some, if they are in the same predicament that I am in, with probation and all. To the lucky sons of bitches who can leave the state, the closest one to Pineville is the one in Indian Land or Tega Cay, which are both in South Carolina. Indian Land is in Lancaster County, and Tega Cay is in York County.  Anyways, the pizza was good. I am looking forward to more texts like that to come from Donatos.

Today, I went into Charlotte to get some cheap cigarettes. Well, I am still not done, because my ulterior motive was to buy 4 packs of L&M menthol lights 100s, and 1 pack of Misty menthol 120s. I know Misty cigarettes are bitch sticks, but those are very smooth and I don’t lay about hawking up different colours of phlegm. So, I walked to the Circle K and I got me some L&M Menthol 100s, since I dialled every store imaginable, and they told me the same thing. They are out of L&M Menthol Lights 100s. I hate that I didn’t buy a carton of them off this mail-order website that had them for $15. I hate that. But, what’s done is done. So, I whipped out my debit card, and I paid for my cigarettes. I was working on about 5 loosies, until my neighbour brought me some Newport (Thank God!) cigarettes for me to smoke. He took one cigarette out. Hell, I have had people that taken half of the pack out and give them to me, so I didn’t fret none. Shit, I still had one, so you can say I had 20 cigarettes, in a whole. And to all those who think my cigarette smoking has reared it’s ugly head, I have not smoked an entire pack yet, and you will not see that, cos in due time, I can say “Leave the cigarettes behind the counter at the Circle K”. But things right now are a little bit stressful, having to write 3 Dear John letters, trying to be civil to the Crackheads of 2012, and trying to be faithful to my new man. I know this for sure, on 28 January, that is been  1 month since getting back on my regular schedule. So, by 28 March 2012, if nothing happens that would make me think otherwise, you will not see a cigarette in my hand.

Going back to Yesterday, since this made me think about how much I even hate the neighbourhood of Southpark, I have to incorporate this into something. Yesterday, I went into Southpark Mall, right after getting off the 57 Archdale bus, I went gallivanting around the mall. First strike… My job coach told me to meet her at the food court at 10:00 sharp, and as you know, that didn’t happen like it should. The weather conditions was overcast, and I made it there at 09:50. My job coach has never practised CP Time, but I don’t know what happened yesterday. I wasn’t mad, because this is Southpark and people in Southpark make their own rules and regulations of the road. Strike two, My job coach came in, and she dialled for the general manager, and she told her that she wanted people with restaurant experience. That is when I knew that that was a wasted trip. Why is it a wasted trip? Two years of working at Liberty Tax is NOT restaurant experience. I wouldn’t be surprised if she called me to tell me that the job was given to someone. Hell, I might still patronise the job, because Operation Sexy calls for a lot of salads and tandori naan flatbread sandwiches. Strike three, was when the male job coach jumped the queue and his client came in. I wanted to cuss him out. But, I am gonna tell my Vocational Rehab counsellor that I will be looking for a new job coach come soon.  This is sadistic in how in 3 years, I have not been able to find a job. Some people have worse credentials and can find a job easily. After that happened, I said to my mum that this was a wasted trip. I am not going to send in my application for Aeropostale either. I am not swallowing my pride just to work.

Potpourri Saturdays: Sexy Men and Olive Garden

I have a knack for sexy men and how I operate with them in my generalised area. Well, since I got back on the buses, I thought of something that most people would want to know. The cute, emaciated-looking guys are usually the guys with small dicks, and the ugly motherfuckers are usually the ones with the big dicks. But, I am not gonna be talking about guys with big dicks; I have been with men with big dicks and men with small dicks. I am a top, and I don’t wanna talk about that shit, even though it is savoury to talk about. I like sexy men with big bubble asses, and those are hard to find in both Candlewood and Uptown Charlotte. Well, there are skinny gay men with small asses in Uptown Charlotte, with the exception of one nigga. Bloody hell! He smelled like he took a shit in his clothes, and I could smell it all the way from the Library. Now, I know a homeless person when I see it, and I do take into account that they only allow you to take showers once a week or once a fortnight at the Urban Ministries. He didn’t look homeless, and he stopped me while trying to catch a Number 11 North Tryon bus via Ken Hoffman bus, and told me he charges $40 for sex. Well, spend $3 of your $40 and buy a 10 bar bulk of Ivory Soap. For your johns’ safety and health, that is the best investment you can ever make. Plus, The Urb gives you an incentive for checking you HIV status… a 10 Ride bus pass. Shit, I’d do it if I were you.

I have a hankering for some good Italian food, with unlimited Salad and breadsticks, and where do I find it at? Not at an authentic Italian restaurant. The only place I can find it at is the Olive Garden! Those breadsticks are bloody addicting and their food is top notch. The reason I call the Olive Garden an imposter is because they are owned by the same people who also owns Red Lobster, which is the same concept and all. The only thing is, at the Red Lobster, they have unlimited cheddar bay biscuits and I don’t know if they have unlimited salad. I’ll check. Shit, fuck that; I’ll go when they have Endless Shrimp, when I have enough fiduciaries to afford actual Benadryl. Why do I need Benadryl? Well, because I am allergic to shrimp.  It could be easily avoided by either not eating their Endless Shrimp, or taking 2 tablespoons of Benadryl while on the Interstate. But, as you may know, I-85 and I-485 are two of the most bumpiest Interstates in the Charlotte Area. But nothing compares to I-40. That is the most bumpiest I have ever been on. I can’t wait that long for their $8.95 Never Ending Pasta Bowl, because I need some good ass Italian food soon.

Cigarette Reviews: Marlboro Skyline 100s

I don’t know what I was doing with this title. I have been tinkering with this damn title for about 5 minutes. Is it Menthol? Is it Skyline Menthol? Is it just Skyline? Well, I came up with the decision of just “skyline”, because a cigarette this smooth, is deserving of something smooth. Smooth as the skyline.  And the picture at the CVS/pharmacy helped me pick whether or not to buy those Marlboro Skyline. Now, I am pitching my 100% endorsement for this cigarette, because it is even smoother than a Camel No.9 Menthe, which is another cigarette I love. The thing about finding cigarettes, is to find your favourite flavour within one brand. Since I am equal between menthol and non-menthol, I tend to fall in between. Not too much menthol, not too much tobacco. This hits the spot. I already have my neighbour on board, so let’s get the African American smoking population on board as well. Cos, little did I know, more and more black men smoke Marlboro because the cost is cheaper and the taste is comparable to Newport. This is dedicated to all the smokers who smoke “light menthol” cigarettes, in any derivative.

PRICE: The cost is the same as any other 85mm or 100mm Marlboro cigarette packs. I don’t think they have Marlboro Skyline 72’s, which is cheaper than many other cigarettes, and becoming more and more popular. You can go to http://marlboro.com and put in your credentials, and you can be put into their mailing list so that you can get coupons for $1 off a pack, or $3 off 2 packs, or something like that. I took the puss way out, I bought the cigarettes with a coupon, me being iridescent in the knowance that I may not even like the damn cigarette. I absolutely loved the cigarette.

TASTE: The taste is distinct. It is not wintergreen like Newport or Marlboro Green, It is like snowy frost, somewhat like an emaciated Kool cigarette. It didn’t make me hawk up colourful phlegm; hell, no phlegm at all. This cigarette is very good all on its own. If I could rate the Marlboro Skyline 100’s, I would give it a top score of 10, which I have never gave a cigarette flavour or brand a full 10 before.

LOOK: The look is resemblant to a light menthol Marlboro or a non-menthol Marlboro. It has a white tip, instead of brown spotty filter tips.

OVERALL: Marlboro and the people at Philip Morris has never ceased to amaze me. You might have won me over from Newports and somewhat from L&M. Well, L&M is cheaper, but when it comes to taste, I really don’t care about the cost. I will pay to get a great tasting cigarette, without all the hubbub from my lungs. So, when it comes down to it, I will trot to the CVS/pharmacy and buy me another pack of Marlboro Skyline, as soon as I get some finances in my pocket. Hell, if I find a job, I might be getting an entire carton!

Free Breakfast at Subway and My Weekend Flow

When I first saw this on the TV, I had to jump at it, because I lost my chance to get a steak from Outback Steakhouse. Now, I made my reservation, and I am gonna tell you how to do it. But I must tell you, this is only for residents in Charlotte, South Carolina, Asheville and Augusta, Georgia. So, let’s get to it. Click here, put in your 5 digit ZIP code and pick the location most ideal to you. Well, they tell you to get to the closest, but I am catching the bus, and the bus doesn’t go down to the “closest” Subway. The closest Subway is actually closer to Uptown Charlotte if taking the bus, and off Rocky River Road if walking or driving. I am against driving on any kind of expressway, so I opted to go to the Subway on Central Avenue and The Plaza in Plaza-Midwood. All I have to do is catch the Number 3 to the Number 9 and that egg and bacon flatbread is in my mouth in less than 10 minutes, accounting good traffic and weather conditions. Anyways, after you pick the “closest” Subway, you then pick the most ideal day and time you would like to come in for your nosh. Well, I picked 2 February at 09:00 to come in for my nosh. Why did I pick that day? Well, I have to go to the probation officer. After that, put in your credentials, like your name and your e-mail address. They will ask you a math question to make sure that you are not a computer, and the math question is very easy, do all the those who isn’t good in maths, should be alright with it.  They won’t penalise you if you need to use a calculator, in which I am not ashamed to say this; I had to use my fingers to answer that question (The only reason I am going into journalism and not education). They will ask you if you wanna send this promotion to other people, in which I sent it to my aunt and my mum. I told my neighbour about it, and she was already on board with it. Don’t be greedy and try and sign up for it twice. The computer will stop you and say “You cannot sign up for the same promotion twice”.

My weekend flow since getting back on the buses has been status quo. Since this Saturday past may be the only Saturday that I go out of the house and into Charlotte, I really don’t plan to change my routine until mid month February. Now, Sundays is another story. I go to church, and today after church, I went home and after running a few errands, I went in my bed and before I knew it, it was 18:00 and counting. I woke up at 07:00 this morning, turned off my alarum clock, and went back to sleep. I tried to stay up, because I had the TV on some of the most boring shit on the TV. The Republican Debate between Rick Perry, Ron Paul, Rick Santorum and Mitt Romney. Ugh. I don’t watch debates on TV, and today was no exception. I thought that would make me stay awake, because I can’t sleep while the TV is on, but on the contrary, I went to sleep and woke up at about 08:15. If I get a job, I will have to revamp my entire sleep schedule and wake up early. This time last year, I wasn’t on any medicine, and I could easily wake up at 04:00 to catch the first Number 3 bus to Uptown. Now, I will have to do at least 5 trial runs in order for it to engrave in my mind to wake up at a certain time. It will take a lot of RC Cola, cigarettes and jacking off to get to that point, but I will make it known to my brain that “If my shift starts at 07:00, wake up at 04:00”.  I will keep you posted. I have the same problem in the weekdays.

Potpourri Saturdays- A Multicultural Yungie and Liberty Tax Service

Yesterday is what spawned “A Multicultural Yungie”. This Korean lady from NewsChannel 36 told us that we can get into 150 museums for free using our BofA card. Now, for those who don’t know what BofA is, Bof A is Bank of America. Since I hold a Bank of America debit card, and I want to see something other than a naked Brian Pumper, I said “Let’s do this.” So, today, I went to the Bechtler Museum of Modern Art, and I went the first thing smoking. I didn’t care to think that I would have had a way home, since I was waiting on my friends’ mum to leave so I can give him the business. I thought modern art was something like starving artists, but it was something like Mona Lisa made by an imposter, Romare Bearden and a few other people I have never heard of. To think of Romare Bearden having a park named after him and a street off of West Blvd, is beyond me.  Tomorrow, after church, if my friend’s mum is still at the house by the time church services are over, I will move onwards to the Mint Museum and the Harvey Gantt Museum.

I went to Liberty Tax Service on North Tryon St and Harris Blvd, and I found out that not a lot of people actually came to the tryouts. Well, what should happen is those who came out this morning should automatically unequivocally get the job. The latter part of the tryouts was about  reiterating what wavers do and the wherewithal of the wavers on the Liberty Tax food chain. They say that they are the most important person in the business, because they wave come hell or high water. Now, they didn’t say “come hell or high water”. They said rain, sleet or snow. And also if the buses is running, they are gonna be waiting for us. I heard on the news, that if more than 6 inches of snow falls in Charlotte, the buses will be running on a weekend schedule.

 

Debunking Myths About Black People And Myself

I am tired of having a stereotype placed on me and other people based on how I look, how I smoke a cigarette, and how I walk and talk, since I am an African American.  So, in this blog, I am going to debunk some myths that people think about African Americans and myself in general. Since I have to be up and at it at 06:30 so I could be out the house by 08:30, I will be telling you my top 10 myths that I need to debunk. Some of these are myths about black people and some are about myself that I find disturbing.

10. Black people only drive Crown Victorias and Impalas. False. I have seen black people drive Acuras, Hondas, and Dodges.  More and more young black people are driving smaller more economical cars that is better for the environment and their wallets, like Honda Accords and Toyota Prii. The thing is, more old people are driving Crown Victorias and Grand Marquis’ because they are more aerodynamic and can take off at the tap of the gas.

9. All black men have big dicks. False. This is from first hand accounts. I have been with black men with big dicks and black men with small dicks. That is just a misconception that pornographers have been made people perceive. Not just pornographers, media in general. Lover’s quarrels have started over that. Women and select men have up and killed their mates because they thought they were cheating because of how big their dick is.

8. All Black people smoke Newport Cigarettes. False. I am one of many black people that doesn’t smoke Newport cigarettes on a regular basis. If I could say this for myself, my regular brand is either Camel or L&M Cigarettes. Before you ask, it is also false that all black people smoke menthol cigarettes. Even though I smoke Menthol cigarettes regularly, I have tried non-menthol cigarettes, and they are no different from menthol cigarettes, except the taste. People (including black people) have criticised Barack Obama, because he is black and exclusively smokes non-menthol cigarettes. To that, I say “to each is own.”

7. The only reason Yung $hawty goes into uptown Charlotte is to meet up with crackheads. False. The only reasons I go into Uptown Charlotte is to transfer either from bus to train or bus to bus, to go to the library or to get some nosh. If everything is conveniently located in University City or Candlewood, I wouldn’t have to go into Uptown Charlotte for anything. And for the record, crackheads who proposition me for sexual activity is given a vehement “hell no”.

6. Black people are all Baptist Christians. False. I am an Episcopalian, and black people have the freedom to pick what denomination of the Christian faith to take a part of. Some people go to Elevation Church. Elevation Church is non-denominational, and some like to go to Southern Baptist churches. I tend to stay away from Southern Baptist churches.

5. Yung $hawty went to gaol because he was being a wiseass. False.  I was gaoled because of something I believed in. Freedom of speech and freedom to identify yourself as being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered. North Carolina has some of the most wishy-washy people when it comes to free speech and freedom of identification. I have the feeling that if I had a gay judge during the first palaver I had, I would have not been gaoled for as long as I did, nor would I have had a restraining order placed out against me.

4. Yung $hawty is a gay bottom. False. I am 90% top and 10% bottom, and I have stayed that way since coming out. Coming soon, if the girl I met up at the courthouse dials me up,and accounting enough fiduciaries for bus fare, I will be an official bisexual. I am unofficially a bisexual, because I  have never had sex with a girl before. Like I said in the last myth I debunked, I have the freedom to identify myself as either gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered. Plus, I like to do the fucking. So, did that answer your question?

3.Black people who sag are all hardcore thugs who will shoot you at wrong glance. False. I have been sagging for the past 7 years, and have nothing bad came out of it. Even though I have been criticised about  my sagging by family members and utter strangers who don’t know my issues, I still continue to sag, because I wanna get my point across. Not all black people who sag are hardcore thugs, nor will they shoot you at wrong glance. Some, but not all, black people who sag are innocuous. Also, all the black people I know who sag, don’t carry guns nor have felonies on their criminal records.

2. Crack is a black people drug. False. Even though this myth is marred by the fact that some black people who are homeless are crack addicts, crack is a drug that does not discriminate. I don’t smoke crack, but this has been brought to my attention after seeing one of my neighbours get highly strung out on a 48 hour crack binge. Black people smoke meth as well as white people smoke crack. There is no gender or racially based drug. North Carolina is trying their hardest to eradicate the problem of meth labs, and I stand by them every step of the way. Because I look at a before-and-after picture of someone who is strung out on methamphetamine, and it is shocking.

1. Yung $hawty has a light voice. All black men with light voices are gay. False. Look at Lil’ Boosie. He has a light voice, but he has girls screaming his name at every concert, his music blaring out of people’s cars, and everything else in between. While some black people with light voices are gay, there are some that’s voice is what God graced them with. God graced me with this voice, and I wouldn’t change it for anything else.

I am pleased to announce that people have changed their perspective of me. When I walked into Harris Teeter on Monday with my pants sagging, I got no stare, nor a snigger about anything. If people get the chance to know the real me, and not because of the way I walk, talk, dress or hold my fag, they will get the chance to know that I am a good person who has made some bad decisions in life, but made a bad decision and bad consequences make me into a stronger man because of it.

Potpourri Saturdays- New Years Resolutions and Clothes Shopping

This year, I am gonna take my New Year’s resolutions to heart, and actually try at it. I am gonna make a chart of resolutions from 2 years ago and how it compares to 2012’s resolutions. The shit I highlighted in red is incomplete, yellow is partially complete, and green is complete.

2010’s New Year’s Resolutions	2011’s New Years Resolutions	2012’s New Year’s resolutions
Get back into College	Get back into College	Get back into College
Continue to do good	Stop Smoking	Stop smoking
Define myself	Stay out of trouble	stay out of trouble
Get right with God	Get my permit	Get my licence
Lose (even a smidgen of) weight.	Lose (even a smidgen of) weight.	Stick to my fitness regimen “Operation Sexy”

I know I can’t go back to college until I either get a job and pay for a maths class, and that kills me inside. I made a commitment with my family. I told them that I would stop smoking 2-3 months after getting back on the buses, and I stand by that. I am currently on probation, so I have to stay out of trouble unless I wanna see the inside of a gaol cell at a North Carolina State Prison. My goal for 2012 is to get my licence and buy a car, so I can drive where ever the buses don’t go.  My fitness regimen is doing either Tae-Bo or Insanity, riding the bike, and walking when I go into Charlotte.    To tell you the truth, I couldn’t get right with God in 2010, because when I made my new years resolutions, I wasn’t well. The reason I said to lose “even a smidgen of ” weight, was because I need to stay in between 200 and 230lbs.  When I last went to my doctor, I weighed in at 232lbs, Much to my chagrin.

So, while making New Year’s resolutions,  I was thinking of some new clothes. Because this is another year where my main goal is to define myself in a way people will love me for me.  Yesterday, I went to the Burlington Coat Factory and I went through the Big and tall section and the Men’s clothes sections, and I couldn’t find anything worth shit in size 42. By the time Operation Sexy gets into the closing part, I should be weighing about 175lbs or less.

I didn’t tell you it was gonna be a small blog entry for Potpourri Saturday? Well, now you know.

LG Optimus V Review

Today, we are gonna take a look at the LG Optimus V. Before we go any further, I want to tell you that this phone is a stock Android 2.2 Froyo, and no, I will not modify my phone until Middle 2012.  That is when Virgin Mobile say that they will bring the Android 2.3 Gingerbread version to the masses.  So, the phone features a 3.2 megapixel camera, which is no different from the phone I had last… the Samsung Intercept. Now, the difference in the camera is that this camera is capable of VGA resolution videos, while the Samsung Intercept is a CIF capable video phone. The specifications have not changed much since getting retiring the Samsung Intercept. My main goal was to retire the Intercept as soon as I could find an affordable way out, not buy a flashy $300 phone. It also features a 3.2" touchscreen which isn’t any different from the Intercept, except the colours are more prevalent in the Optimus V. It doesn’t come with a slide out QWERTY keyboard, but I really could have cared less from the start. This is my third touchscreen phone, and I barely used the QWERTY keyboard for anything.  It didn’t come with a lot of bloatware, but I found some things that were useful. It already came preloaded with Twidroyd, which is an app for Twitter. I have used Twidroyd in the past and it is very good, especially for phones with little space and slower processors. Now, the processor on the Intercept was a 800mhZ  while on the Optimus V, it is a 600mhZ. Even though the processor is slower, it doesn’t act like it; the touchscreen is bloody responsive and I can play Angry Birds without it having to force close on me. This is disturbing; I bought this phone secondhand, and it actually came with a 2GB microSD card with pictures still on it. Now, it wasn’t any pictures of anything nasty or things that I need to send to Charlotte Police. There is a few pictures of cars, decor in someone’s house, and squalor. When I mean squalor, I mean trash bags and Kroger bags full of trash… Now, in Charlotte, we used to have Kroger. Harris Teeter and Bi-Lo bought the stores out, and now the closest store to Candlewood is Food Lion about 12 blocks from my flat.

This phone comes preloaded with Google Latitude, and thank God it does. I was in town on 25% business and 75% leisure, and my begging stalker already started his shit. His was in prison not more than 7 months ago, and I don’t get why North Carolina let him out on good merit or because the prison is overcrowded. Still, the best of Western technology won’t help keep svengalis from trying to get your phone… That is the reason I am electing to get a screen lock for my phone. That is a good thing about Android itself. I accidentally locked myself out of my phone, and on the third try, it asked for my Gmail email and passcode. I am not about to let this phone out of my sight. This fool is not about to get my phone. Hell, even if he asked to use my phone, I would direct him to the nearest payphone, in which I will give him no money, nor will I walk with him. He hangs out at the Transit 18 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Activation was pure hell. I spent 3 days trying to get my phone activated, and how I know the phone was half-the-way activated? Well, I could make and receive texts and calls. I haven’t tried 3G picture mail yet, I will try in due time. I called Virgin Mobile about 20 times in 48 hours to get my phone working, and on number 20, that is when some progress was going through. At about 08:30 that morning, I finally was able to go through over-the-air provisioning. That is the last time I buy a phone used on Amazon unless it is absolutely necessary, or if I am teaching my friends how to buy phones cheap on Amazon.

This phone is currently $129.99 on Virgin Mobile’s website, but I got my phone for more than half of that.  How does $50.49 sounds? To me, that sounds like a bitching deal! This phone has everything you need. You may just have to download some of the apps you want, especially since this one app called SCVNGR (scavenger) only works in San Francisco,Boston, New York and Philly, I opt for FourSquare.  I will make a blog about how to find the best deal for a phone. But, right now, it is New Year’s Eve and 01:05. Good night.

Timeline of the Problems With LG Optimus V Activation

Now, I don’t have a problem with the phone itself, I just have a problem with activating the phone through Virgin Mobile’s website. Now, I have made a timeline within the 72 hours I have had this phone on the bull I have had to go through.

• 16 December 2011- I purchased the phone
• 23 December 2011- The phone was supposed to be in Charlotte; stuck in a sorting office in Lexington, Kentucky.
• 27 December 2011: 13:27- The phone was put in my hand by the postman.
• 27 December 2011: 15:15- The Phone was activated successfully.
• 27 December 2011: 15:18- Over-The-Air provisioning started; activated unsuccessfully due to lack of 3G coverage in the flat.
• 27 December 2011: 17:25- Manual provisioning completed; test call made successfully.
• 27 December 2011: 17:32- Over-The-Air provisioning started; phone reverted back to original number.
• 27 December 2011: 17:33- Test call made unsuccessfully.
• 27 December 2011: 17:35- Contacted Virgin Mobile and was told that account is currently active with a different account; I told Virgin Mobile representative that the account has been ported over.
• 28 December 2011: 09:18- Contacted Virgin Mobile and was told that the account has been deactivated; Still not activated.
• 28 December 2011 22:22- After a record 15 tries, contacted Virgin Mobile to open up a second investigation to the reason the phone cannot be activated.

And that is where we are to 00:41, 29 December 2011. I am watching Aqua Unit Patrol Squad 1 and typing this blog, and waiting on the seller of the phone to contact me again about the issue, and will retry the activation tomorrow. My main motive is to get the phone activated by the time I get into Charlotte, because I can’t go into Charlotte with a phone with no data service whatsoever. It will be a boring trip. I will have to try it again. I have a good feeling, I am going absolutely nowhere with this. This is the last time I buy a phone via Amazon. It is tiring have to worry about this phone’s activation. I might have to go through Amazon’s A-Z guarantee to get through. I am not gonna have a phone that is capable of being a full Android being an emaciated excuse for a phone.

Potpourri Saturdays- Christmas Eve Procrastination, Groupon and Driving

In 12 years, I have not been Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve, because that is when my nerves are on edge and all this other shit. Now, the 12 year non-procrastination streak is over. I went to Old Navy to buy some additional gifts for my family, because as you may know, one gift per person isn’t gonna too much cut it for a memorable Christmas. I went to buy some shit from Old Navy, and I went through the clearance aisles. I walked down those aisles with a high head and a motive: Get in… get out. Only buy the things that people would like and would love to use. So, I found some things for $1. Now, my sister likes Hello Kitty by Sanrio, and I went to see how much it cost. Now, that shit was from $5 onwards to $15. So, I had to put it back, and go to plan B.  So, since it was winter, I went ahead and bought her some gloves, that will come in handy since National Weather Service forecasters state that we are overdue for a major snowstorm. I remember the last big snowstorm. It was February of 2004, and it was my 8th grade year. Now, East Charlotte changed a lot since then, because of the booming economy at that time. No, I am not blaming Obama for the economy decline. I blame the lawmakers and the people at Wall Street.  So, anyways, we went and bought bags for everyone, a shirt and some pyjamas with some moose on it. It looks quite alright. I really don’t care about how it looks; it will do me just fine.

How much did I pay out of Old Navy for a few bags, a shirt and some pyjamas? Only $1.50. Now, my aunt has more advancements about Groupon than I do. Groupon is this site that you pay for but when it comes down to it, you are actually getting paid for going to their website. I will start going to Groupon and paying for them to give me coupons like that. If I actually had a good job, Groupon would come in handy. Especially if the clothes they had in Old Navy would look good on me, but as you know, I said “Skinny jeans are for white men or gay men”, and I stand by what I said. What happens is, if something interests you, you can pay for a coupon for like $20 off an expensive or snazzy restaurant cheque. That is something that I would like, especially when I get some finances in place, so I can have a taste of something other than Singapore rice noodles and Church’s Chicken. Now, don’t get me wrong; I love both Singapore rice noodles and Church’s Chicken.  It also covers a wide array of things, other than food and clothes. I am on Groupon as we speak, and they have $70 seats to the Bobcats game, for $20! Now, if Charlotte Bobcats have a good season, maybe I will go to one of their games.  What would be excellent, is if they had coupons for Red Bowl.

Yesterday, my family and I went to my aunt’s house and she lives out in the sticks. I tell you, another city, another county, another area code. Well, this was for a Christmas dinner, so there was gonna be a lot of people there. Now, I left my learner’s permit at home, even if I was asked to drive from Charlotte to Hickory, I would have not been able to do so, for two reasons: No permit, and small country roads. My aunt gave me an opportunity to drive to the next town over, but I didn’t have my permit, so I had to decline. Plus the streets are very narrow and small, and that is not good for me. I like driving in Charlotte, because the streets are wide enough that I don’t have to worry about going across a double solid yellow line to do a turn. Now, if I was born in a country area, I would love to drive those small roads without any problems, but since I don’t live in the country and I never want to, I don’t have to worry about small country roads. The road I am talking about in Catawba County, is Bethany Church Road. I’ll leave the small country road driving to my mum. And if Charlotte city limits go as far as Catawba County, I am fucked; in which I don’t see that happening in the near future.

My View On Skinny Jeans and Sagging

So that there will be no mistakes, I will tell it to you in English only. And the best English as well. If you haven’t looked at the Yung $hawty Mobile Diary, take a look at that. I give you a little snippet of what I think about skinny jeans. Now, let’s get through to you all on my homepage. Now, here is my view on skinny jeans. Skinny jeans are only for white people and gay people. I am neither gay nor white. I am a black bisexual. Now, I see many people in my neighbourhood wearing short shorts and skinny jeans, like they never went out of style. I remember about 4 years ago, you wouldn’t see any niggas wearing Levi Strauss in the colours, styles and sizes that they do now, except if you are, of course, gay or white.  This is some crazy bullshit. After the Shop Boyz made a video called “Party like a Rockstar”, this is when they all started wearing skinny jeans. Two or three hours ago, I was watching Adult Swim, and an Adidas commercial came on. The Adidas shoes looked like he was queerer than a $2 bill. I told my cousins that if I found out that they are wearing skinny jeans, I was gonna cut their clothes up, and they would be driving home in 30 degree weather naked. So, they have to take their pick.

To me, sagging is a style that should never go out as long as you are not sagging skinny jeans. I sag, and I don’t see anything wrong with sagging. But as you know, I live in a family that doesn’t care about my views, because I didn’t go to a 4 year college and don’t have neither a car nor a dog.  They are trying to engrave in my head that sagging is for thugs and those who wanna advertise their ass. Fuck advertising my ass, I wanna advertise my dick. They ain’t seen sagging yet, because when Operation Sexy gets all good and kicked in, I will be losing weight, and I might not have a job then, but I will still be wearing size 42 jeans, and sagging them. If I wanted to be a thug, do you think I wouldn’t be wearing a sling messenger bag full of medicines and hand sanitiser?  No. A real thug nigga wouldn’t carry sling messenger bags (unless it was grocery bags). I sag my jeans for a reason: To show people that there are some good people who sag. Not just thugs. I don’t care about the problems that I will face in the South when it comes to sagging. Because if one of the security guards at the Epicentre come in contact with me, I will call corporate offices, and report them for prowling. I’m not allowed to leave the state, so I don’t have to worry about the laws in South Carolina,Alabama,Mississippi, Louisiana or Florida. My main motto in dress is “look fly, and debunk myths while doing so”.

So, within that motto and my values, I will spend time this Christmas holiday buying things  for the family, that I think will fit my values and my motto pretty well. I can pretty much cut out Hollister, Aeropostale, Levi Strauss, and American Eagle. They don’t have stuff for people who wear a size 38 or higher. I have tried. Levi Strauss at least has stuff up to a size 44 that looks good on a white guy or a gay guy. Hell, before you know it, all the clothiers will be trying to keep up with the crowd of skinny jeans wearers, and I am not willing to wear anything cheap. I will wear the following, including, but not limited to, Blac Label, LRG, Ecko, Rocawear, Akademiks, Mecca and Coogi. Coogi feels strangely good on my body… Thank the Australians for that.  Those7 clothiers, I will be looking closely for, when I go after-Christmas shopping.

Operation Sexy 2012 Weight Loss Challenge

This is a testament to what kind of weight I am trying to lose. So, follow this, and this will be your best defence against those who don’t want me to lose weight. It is not their problem, so they need to sling their hook and get out of my business. So, let’s start off by saying that before you plan to lose any considerable amount of weight, you would have to consult your physician to make sure that your body hasn’t been acclimatised to being big. Also, this will be one of the shortest blog entries that this blog site may see. Now, losing weight is hard enough. some people are trying to make it easier. I am gonna do this without using any drugs (duh, I’m on probation), or an overabundance of intoxicating beverages. What is gonna make it worse, is if I stay on my good graces, I will quit smoking in March of 2012. Why am I gonna quit smoking? I don’t think I will need the nicotine to help me relieve stress anymore. But I can’t take anymore stress. Now, if something else big happens, I will have to extend it to 6 months after I get back to normalcy. Plus, I will have to see with my psychiatrist to see if I can get off of Abilify. Even though my body has already been acclimatised to not eating a lot, I have to still get off of it, because I don’t wanna get diabetes.

So here is my stats:

Current/Future	Current	Future
Weight	235	175
BMI Index	32.8	24.4
Shirt Size	XXXL	XXL
Waist size	38	36

I will get back with you again with more on this.

 

Potpourri Saturdays- Phones, Christmas Gifts and Celebratory Nosh with Operation Sexy

I didn’t give you enough time to look at my blog posting before I went on to another! I know that. But, if I do it now, before I forget, I won’t forget. So, Christmas is only 8 days away. I have to treat myself since none of my family is willing to buy me a phone, even though they know—the whole lot of them— that the phone I got now is absolute shite, and when I found a way out, I went straight for it, and I got it before everybody else. I was thinking of giving the Intercept to my mum, but I don’t think she will like the Intercept. Why, I gave her a list of problems and advantages. She knows, by me cursing at my phone at it’s impertinence, that this phone is very very very high maintenance! So, anyways, my new blog postings on Yung $hawty Mobile Diary  will be set to reflect the change of phones. Picture this… I am in uptown Charlotte, and I am blogging on this phone nonstop.  At the end, the signature will say “Sent from my LG Optimus V Android by Virgin Mobile”. And plus, I wouldn’t have to worry about the phone force closing too much, unless I want it to force close. Well, instead of giving my mum the Samsung Intercept, I might have to just get her something else. We will talk about it in the next paragraph.

Seeing that in 8 days, Christmas will be here, and there is exactly a week to finish up Christmas shopping, I am gonna do this. Now as you may know, I am doing 99% of Christmas shopping online, and 1% in an actual B&M store. B&M means brick and mortar. So, my mum is mesmerised on Sally Hansen’s Crackle nail polish. The only problem is… what colour does she want? Now, she claims any colour is good enough for her, but I am not gonna make the wrong decision and get some faygeleh colour like fuchsia or or purple, because you will not be able to see the actual crackle.  I might get silver or red. I have always loved red and black. Red and black is sexy to me. My sister wants a 4G phone, but as you have read from other “Potpourri Saturdays” blogs, I am both unwilling and unable to buy a 4G phone, unless it is with Virgin Mobile. So, my sister is gonna get a Tracfone with EDGE capabilities. She won’t know the difference. EDGE is the 3G for those with GSM phones. I have to call Safelink and see if the phone will be able to be activated with her plan.  Hell, I might just get her a camera phone from Tracfone, and put a 3G/EDGE Capable Phone sticker on it. She will not notice the difference. My cousin is getting my old printer, and my grandma is getting a CD. My aunt will have to wait till I get some finances so I can go to the Cambodian store, and get some sriracha sauce. 

Coming in January, I will go on a cross county trip in search of some of the best celebratory nosh. As you may already know, since I posted a food review for The Red Bowl Asian Bistro, I decided today. That is gonna be the official place where I am gonna get some celebratory nosh. I tell you, their Singapore rice noodles are off the chain. Knowing if I go, I will end up having to buy for my mum, and my ex too. I might just cross busy Highway 16 in order to get some fried chicken wings too. Good Lord, Wal-Mart has the best fried chicken wings, and that is undisputed, if I do say so myself. Don’t knock me because of my weight; Operation Sexy is in full swing. Which comes to my next thing. How will I monitor how many net carbs I am eating when I am eating such a good food? Well, no one has ever taught me about carbs, and  I shouldn’t have to worry about it. I am gonna be riding my bike every day for no apparent reason, because I am very into Operation Sexy. Which reminds me to see if Shaun T has some videos that are more laid back and not as intense, because I would love to get the body like he has. My next blog entry will be about my monthly goals and how much I intend to lose. That will be here on The Chronicles of Yung $hawty.

Breaking News: Yungie to Retire Samsung Intercept Effective 25 December 2011

Thank God for waiting until the night to see if there was a phone that actually $45. Knowing that you can’t find the LG Optimus V for less than $70 unless you have cash money in your hand and a way to get to Best Buy, two things I don’t have. Hopefully this man won’t pull a fast one on me and I end up getting a damn Samsung Intercept in the mail. That would bite me in the ass, knowing the Intercept don’t like me and I don’t like it. Hell, my phone has already been dropped and the battery life is almost completely shot, I should say. So, I will get back to you on either 22 or 23 December 2011 if it comes via UPS, and—oh shit. I forgot my aunt wants me to host this little Christmas shindig at her bungalow. Anyways, if it comes via the Postal Service, it will be here either on 22, 23 or 24 December. Hopefully, it comes via USPS, because I need to get my phone in my hands before Christmas, because my Samsung Intercept is going to my mum. I want my LG Rumour Touch back, because that is the best phone I have ever had. Never had any problems with it. Then again, she will cause that phone more damage than I have ever given it. She isn’t a very patient person nor is she a fan of phones that will conk out on her at zero hour. So, in the car while taking my aunt to her work at the hospital, I was telling her the advantages…

• This phone is Android Froyo. You can download thousands upon thousands of apps from the Android Market like Angry Birds, Bejeweled!, and a Personal Diary. She is not like me. She doesn’t want her personal life PBS’d on the Internet.
• The camera is a 3.2MP camera. The camera also is capable of making very good quality videos (perhaps, the only good thing about this phone.)
• The battery life is very good. This comes from a lot of pride when it comes to the upkeep of batteries, conduits of the battery cell and shit like that.

Three major disadvantages to me is:

• This is a big one, because my mother wants a phone that she is very certain that she will be able to make and receive calls at her free will. This phone is capable of not dialling out whenever it feels like the need arises.
• You can only download a few apps, because the space on the phone is so low, and that is a problem mainly because both Virgin Mobile and Sprint wanna put unwanted apps on the phone (this is bloatware, but since I am posting this on all three of my blogs, I will be making it learner friendly). The only good app that I can tell you about is ThinkFree Office.
• The apps that I do use, they like to force close during the most horrid, most needed times. When I am doing the Yung $hawty Mobile Diary,  The WordPress app likes to force close. I have not sent this to WordPress, because that most likely isn’t a problem with WordPress’ app. It might be a problem with the phone itself. Hell, even the Angry Birds force closes on me.

I will be giving you an update on 23 December (or earlier should the phone come sooner).

“Their Singapore Rice Noodles Are To Die For”

Red Bowl Asian Bistro

3538 Mt Holly-Huntersville Road

Charlotte, NC 28217

Tel: 704-391-7181

Good Lord, where do I start?  Well, first of all to start, this got to have Panda Express beat when it comes to good ass food. Now, before you start giving me negative contacts about Panda Express, I will still patronise Panda Express; because Panda Express is strictly Chinese, whereas The Red Bowl Asian Bistro is a fusion cuisine mixing up food from various areas of Asia. They have food from Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, China, Vietnam and Mongolia. But for this, I am gonna focus on this delicious Singaporean cuisine. Let’s first tell you what Singapore is. Singapore is a country in Southeast Asia, and it is bordered between Malaysia and Indonesia (by water). Four main languages are spoken in Singapore, and that is more-or-less important. They speak English, Malay (Malaysia), Chinese and Tamil. I tell you, if they thought lightly of LGBTs in Singapore, I would love to go to Singapore and be like the people on Globe Trekker or The Travel Channel. PBS is good only for their British Comedies and for Globe Trekker. Damn Time Warner Cable for changing The Travel Channel to Nick Jr. Singaporean cuisine is fusion of Malaysian, Chinese and Indian food. I checked on Wikipedia, and I found out that Singapore rice noodles are not popular in Singapore. So is China being an imposter? If so, why is such a tasty delicacy not called Chinese Rice Noodles? Anyway, when it comes to the Red Bowl, their Singapore rice noodles are to die for.

Before I get to what Singapore rice noodles are, I wanna tell you how to get there. Now, they have 3 locations. One on Providence Road, One on Mt Holly-Huntersville Road and one in Tega Cay. If you wanna go to the one that I patronise the most, by car, from Uptown Charlotte, take the Brookshire Freeway all the way to the end of the line. It will turn into Brookshire Blvd. You will pass I-85 and I-485. Turn left at the first left after passing I-485. That is Mt Holly-Huntersville Road. It is in the same shopping centre as Wendy’s, Rite Aide, Harris Teeter, and a nail bar. You can catch either the 1 or the 88X bus to get there. I have never been to the one on Providence Road, nor the one in Tega Cay, duh. I am on probation, and I can’t even think about stepping on South Carolina soil. Now, let’s get to what Singapore rice noodles are. They are small noodles, skinnier than spaghetti and skinnier than angel hair pasta. Think about it as a microcosm of Ramen noodles. It has curry in it, and some vegetables. Now, if you ask for it, you can either omit the chicken, shrimp or have it bareback. I am allergic to shrimp, but hell, Singapore rice noodles aren’t to die for without both chicken and shrimp. My ulterior motive is to get it during the midday, where it is cooked to order and comes with an egg roll. The waiter might already know our name, because we get the same thing all the time. We get two Singapore rice noodles: One all the way, one without shrimp; Pad Thai with sriracha hot sauce; crispy wontons and hot and sour soup. Sometimes we get extra sriracha sauce and Vietnamese shrimp rolls. I don’t eat Pad Thai, sriracha sauce nor Vietnamese shrimp rolls.

I rate this restaurant on a 10 point scale, where 1 is horrid and 10 is excellent, a 10 for food, 10 for temperature, 8 for accessibility and 10 for courteous staff. You can best believe this is gonna be my celebratory nosh, and to add on to it, I am gonna go to Wal-Mart and get some of their fried chicken wings. Yeah, I know I’m fat; don’t knock me for it.

 

15 December 2011- Being Cognisant Of My Blogs

One of the caveats of getting back on with my life, is that I have to be cognisant of what I say on the blogs. At the current moment, I am rewording blog entries on Yung $hawty Mobile Diary, and deleting blog entries on The Chronicles of Yung $hawty. Before you know it, there won’t be a blog to go to, because all the good shit will be taken off. What did I do to get to that point? Well, my mum and my aunt went to Medical Centre Plaza, and I was watching Swift Justice with Jackie Glass, and it was about two good looking white people fighting in a bar, leaving one with having to get $5,000 worth of dental work done (dentures). While Swift Justice was on a commercial break, I went to talk on my mobile. I ended up dialling one of the meeting people. He told me that they will be looking at A/V and also blogs and YouTube, and if I have something about them, that may call for a 5 year ban from them. That called for me to do an emergency wipe-down/rewording on all of my blogs, because I worked too damn hard to try to get back on with my life, and it only takes one slagging just to get my ban reimposed. I hope the mere mention of the company won’t get my ban reimposed. Oh and about the court case, the man was partially at-fault, and the judge gave him reduced judgement. How reduced? How does $2,500 sound? To those who don’t know, it amounts to half of the jurisdictional limit.

13 December 2011-Family and Joyously Breaking News

First of all, how do you like my new font? Someone was complaining that my font was varied in size and not too neat. Also, this is being simulcast straight from my phone. Today started normally, with my regular wake up time being 10:15. That is one thing I will have to change. I will tell you later. I turned it on to some white person singing on Dr Phil. Someone I don’t know, and I am usually the first to know about the country genre, since my music preferences is very generalised. I think it is someone who is unsigned hype. I saw Robin McGraw all snuggled up on Dr Phil like they were ready to get it on in the studio. Now, I am not usually good for watching Dr Phil, because I would rather watch the Family Feud before it comes on at 18:00. That is the good thing about Charlotte TV. You can watch shows before their original airtime. Just like watching Jeremy Kyle at 11:00 instead of 15:00. I would rather watch it at that time, because I usually have to get the children off the school bus; because we live in a neighbourhood with about 25 paedophiles living within our confines. My mum want me to get them because I don’t take shit from people like I used to.  Don’t worry, this story coincides with the next one. So, at around 12:00, I hear the Hoover going. It was my grandma Hoovering the floor. So, I told her that I was gonna Hoover when I get some clothes on; I just got out the shower. At around 13:00, I see our cousin pull up, and I hear her voice. I was about to get off to the latest of gay porn; there was this sexy ass nigga jacking off in an abandoned mall. I might have to stake out Northlake and see what the hell is going on sexy nigga-wise.  Now, I know if I get caught doing anything, I could be in gaol for 6 months for a probation violation. So I have to be cognisant of it. Anyways, I get some clothes on, and I go out and say hey to my cousin. She lives in West Charlotte. She said the words that I have heard every time someone comes to the flat, “I was just in the neighbourhood.” Now, it all depends what you are in the neighbourhood for. Cheap gas? Cheaper loosies? Well hell, that is good. My mum was watching The Chew, this boring ass show that comes on in lieu of All My Children on ABC. We were talking about cars, phones, asthma, and computers. I asked her if she was in the market for selling her car, and she said that she was not in the market for selling her car, because the transmission is nearly shot, and the car rattles and shakes. I asked her was she in the market for getting a new phone, and she told me that her phone has been giving her problems since the day she got the damn thing. Same holds truth to my damn thing. I tried doing this very diary entry and the bloody phone forced closed on me. Thank God I saved this as a draft. I am gonna continue now. I told her that she could get another phone, an Android for $150 with Straight Talk. Now, she don’t know about Androids and BlackBerrys, or anything like that. Then, she was talking about how she started back smoking. She told me how she has bronchitis, and how they think it is asthma. My mother told her that I have asthma. I know have asthma, but my smoking doesn’t affect it much. Then we started talking about tablets and iPods, and shit like that. I told her that I would put music on her iPod should she ever get an iPod, and no sooner that I said that, my phone started to ring. For everyone that calls my phone “All The Things (Your Man Won’t Do)” by Joe plays.

“I light up all the candles all around, show me to the subway, I’ll go down, nothing can be sweeter than the sound of making love.”  I find out it is the people I had a meeting with on Wednesday. The moderator dialled me back. I know he said a reasonable timeframe, but I didn’t mean that bloody reasonable. I ain’t complaining though. So, I left the room and I took the call. A smile came onto my face, after the man said “ We have made the decision to approve your appeal on a probationary status.” After he told me the caveats of my appeal, he hung up the phone after wishing me a happy Christmas and I let out a loud squeal. My neighbours didn’t come out, but my mum said “What the hell is wrong?” I told her what the man said and she told me that once I get back to my regular life, I was not about to stay out all night long nor will I converse with my ex. I will get up with that girl I met at the courthouse.  I will keep you posted, and always look at the “Things Occurring” side of the blog. I will have to overhaul my entire schedule.

Why Did I Leave Cricket?

Now, this is not supposed to be a blog knocking Cricket, but I will tell it like it is. Cricket is a company that brings flat rate billing in a local area all across the United States. So, a local metro area may not see all of their cities included in this phone company, but damn-near close to it. Since Cricket has since gone through Nationwide roaming agreements with other companies like Metro PCS and Carolina West, You can get a bigger coverage area for voice and in Metro PCS’ service areas, data as well. So, like if you went to Atlanta or New York City, you would enjoy voice and data roaming in those cities using Metro PCS’ coverage. Likewise if you have a Metro.  That is one thing I particularly like from Cricket. I have to clear the air because the man at the phone store near my flat, asked me why am I with Virgin Mobile. So, I gave him 3 reasons why I am with Virgin Mobile. I will get to that later. If I had a boyfriend or a girlfriend—since I am a bisexual,  I might would need a Cricket phone, but for the time being, my financial status and my single status doesn’t call for me having a Cricket. For the price I was paying for Cricket service every month, I was getting unlimited talk, text, and web. I didn’t need unlimited talk, or web service, because I had a flashed BlackBerry, and I didn’t need unlimited talk because of the fact that I only use about 300 minutes a month.

So, with that in mind, when I found out that Virgin Mobile had a touchscreen phone for less than $200 and the cheapest plan was only $25 for 300 minutes, unlimited text, MMS and data, I said that that was heaven sent. In the one and a half years I have been with Virgin Mobile, I have never had a problem with going over nor have I had a problem with call drop-offs.  With Cricket, I have had a problem with calls dropping, call quality and phone quality. I only buy phones from reputable companies, no matter how much more it costs. I don’t think that Virgin Mobile phones are for children. I do think that Virgin Mobile has good phones, and good service. They should not stray away from these “Beyond Talk” plans though. I have never had a problem with their coverage area, other than the occasional dropped call from inside my flat. But then again, we have reinforced steel in the drywall of our flat, since the people upstairs from us ran her Nissan into our flat. That may conflict with the coverage in our flat, but who is so important to talk to other than my mum? Next phone on my list will be the Motorola Triumph. I was thinking about getting that phone after I saw someone on YouTube playing the Angry Birds  on it. No lag at all, and HD video recording? Shit, I am getting that phone if that is the last thing I do.

Having To Go To The Emergency Room… Again

As you may know already from the blog posting “Risperdal or Abilify”, I am on a prescription called Abilify. Now, before you get all in a tizzy thinking something is going wrong with me, I must tell you that I am only out of Cogentin. Thank God I can have a one month supply before I have to go to the Mental Health Emergency Room, because the first time I went to that Godforsaken hellhole,  I got there at 16:00 and left around 23:45. Now, as you may know, I don’t trust going into Grierton for anything after dark. That is the reason why I am gonna hold off on going to the ER until I really need my Cogentin. The last time I went to the emergency room, I was showing symptoms of tardive dyskinesia. The ER doctor pawned it off on something else, but I know it was tardive dyskinesia. It was bad enough that my regular psychiatrist is using me as a test dummy for the latest pills, but I am not gonna have that happen anymore. I will tell him, I want a pill that makes me lose weight instead of gain weight. Better yet, I will tell him that I am very satisfied with Abilify. It has not caused as much of a weight gain, and I am happy that the pill has not given me anything more disturbing like hyposexuality, or even diabetes. My life thrives on food and sex, and if both of them are hindered in anyway, I will tell them that I stopped taking the medicine as prescribed. Hell, the cost of Abilify for someone without any money in their pocket is too much. $3 adds up every time you run out of medicine. Especially if you are on 7 different medicines. I am on 2 medicines for Asperger Syndrome, 2 inhalers for asthma, an blood pressure pill, an NSAID, and a allergy nasal spray. I only take Abilify during the nights, to keep me at bay at night, because I tend to blog in a blood fuelled rage. That stops it altogether, only on two caveats. I don’t drink any caffeine 6 hours before I sleep and drink water with the pill. I rely on caffeine to get me during the day.

Now, the reason why I don’t like going into Grierton after dark, is because mainly because of two reasons. My ex got raped in Grierton,and because the closest open police station is the Providence Division. Say what? Grierton is served by the Providence Division. That is until I found out the close proximity to the Providence Division office is. Now, I was gonna be very mad if it was somewhere on Providence Road, because of how far the locale is from Grierton. Now, I fell a little safer, but only a little safer. Because there is not a police officer actively patrolling Grierton, so there could be anything happening. Then there is the domestic arrangements of where I will be located. I will be in a perpetual ghetto and a loony bin. Now, the actual word for it is crisis stabilisation, but they are boosting people’s heads in. I will hope that Carolinas Healthcare System is approved to build a crisis stabilisation centre in Huntersville, because even though it is an inconvenience for me, it is safer.

Top 5 Worst Christmas Gifts

This reminds me of something I came across when I was on Facebook. Now, this may offend some people, but I really don’t care. If I get the following 5 Christmas gifts, I will say in my mind “Hell no”, but in my persona, I will say that be satisfied with it.  The following are 5 of the worst Christmas gifts I know of…

5. Printer ink;

4. Food;

3. Socks;

2 . Tacky pyjamas;

1. Gym membership.

Now, people before you get all in a tizzy, I am here to tell you that there is nothing wrong with getting printer ink, IF YOU GOT A PRINTER THAT WORKS! My Epson printer sucks ink like a prostitute sucks dick. I just put ink in the damn thing a bloody fortnight ago, and it is already half empty. What makes matters worse, is that only the yellow and black in k works. My printer has 4 holes, each colour coded for to tell you where the ink is supposed to go. Also as an addendum, they tell you that you should always use that expensive ass Epson ink. I get my ink off Amazon and it still shows “Genuine Epson Ink”. I have yet to put in my new black ink, because I already had a full cartridge when I got it second-hand. Don’t waste $35 on Epson branded ink. Use it on something else.

There are starving children in Africa, but not here in my household. We never will go hungry, so who in the fuck possessed someone to give me food on Christmas day? Now, I don’t mean food like a full fledged 14lb turkey or a nice ass ham, I mean like Candy or ginger snaps giftwrapped. so, don’t get anything I will use up in one day in a depressive mindset, or just for the hell of it. Now, if it was in a form of a gift card like for McDonald’s or Burger King, I will gladly take it. When I get back up and running, I will be needing some nosh to keep me going, especially if Waffle House at the corner of South Blvd and Woodlawn stopped their Dollar menu. I wouldn’t use up a $10 or a $25 gift card in one day, especially if I keep my begging ass stalker at bay.

I have enough socks to last me until I grow another inch on my feet. But, I am gonna get them for Christmas. I feel it in my spirit. I hope that my family hears my pleas for not getting any socks, because usually they get either socks 2 sizes too small or 2 sizes too big.The problem of getting socks 2 sizes too small is because it might only fit half my foot. Meaning my toes are safe, but my soles have to fend for themselves.  The problem of getting the 2 sizes too big,  is because it could draw in the cold winter air. Now, if I get socks with insulation in them, those are ideal, because once I get cold, I am damn near paralysed because of the cold temperatures. Now, people say that fat people have the best insulation for colder climates, but I am one middle weight motherfucker who can’t stand the cold. Hell, if I have to work for Liberty Tax Service, I will have to buy a Snuggie. Cos like I said beforehand, when my feet gets cold, I get cold, and I am inoperable.

One year, I got some Hawaiian flowered pyjamas. This was when I was in High School, and I made a name for myself for not dressing up to the occasion like high school students did. I really could have cared less what I wore, but now since I am out in the real world, I have to dress to the occasion. Since I have been confined to the flat for the past 10 months, I have let my fashion sense go down the drain,only I dress up to go somewhere outside of normal walking distance. Now, I don’t wanna even see any tacky pyjamas. Now before you say I am one of the most unappreciative motherfuckers in this country, I have some pyjamas that may seem tacky to you all, and it is one size too small, but I wear them out and they feel good on me. If they are not plaid and/or in plain colours, I don’t want it. ABSOLUTELY NO LONG JOHNS! For that is one of my paramount rules when it comes to Christmas. I will never put on any long johns.

Now, I am meaning to offend people who gives this for Christmas. I am 235lbs, a long shot from my high school weight. Despite the large weight class that people misconceive from it, I have never looked back. I have the ideal weight for me to get 12 pack abs, and look sexy for the ladies. It has been brought to my attention that someone may give me a gym membership for Christmas. I have a feeling I will be spending Christmas night in gaol for slapping someone upside their head for doing some crazy ass shit like that. People know that I am happy with the weight I am, but people are still giving me strife about all of the diseases I can catch for being fat. I know, I can get diabetes from being fat. Being on Abilify doesn’t help any. Please make an informed decision before you give me a damn gym membership, and take into note that “Operation Sexy” calls for me walking or riding the bike around to lose weight, not go into a gym membership with people I don’t wanna be… Douchebags and jocks. I am a 21 year old bisexual male, and let’s keep it that way. Leave the health and wellness shit to Planet Fitness and the YMCA of Greater Charlotte.

Now, these are some of the worst Christmas gifts that were threatened upon me for Christmas. Let’s nip the bullshit in the bud, because getting printer ink, ginger snaps, pyjamas, socks and gym memberships are not gonna be in my forecast anytime soon. Now, if I get a gym membership, it will be on my accord, and my accord only. But some people won’t be satisfied until I reach 150lbs, looking anorexic and shit. My goal is to only lose 35lbs, so I can gain an inch on my dick.

Potpourri Saturdays- Font Making and Christmas Shopping Online

How does my new font looks? Well, this is my actual handwriting. Western technology has gotten so good, that I can make my own damn handwriting font with some expensive ass font making software. Now, this is just the testing stages, but I think it is going along pretty well, if I do say so myself. Now, I call this font “The Eyes of An Aspie”. Since, as you may know, I have been diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. Enough of my life story. Now, back to what I was wanting to talk to you about. You can make a font by doing the following… Download a template on http://www.yourfonts.com, download the template, print it out and then download the FontCreator software from High-Logic. It works like a charm, and I really enjoy typing on this blog with my own handwriting. There is only one problem… Glyph rastering and all this other shit. They have a good tutorial for those who wanna make their handwriting font (much better than mine, I should say) by going to this link here. Now, yourfonts.com is a good website for your handwriting font. It takes the guesswork out, but it will cost you about $10. To me, that is money well spent. I will continue to make this font better for you all. I know, my writing is chicken scratch, but don’t knock me for it. 

Sally Hansen Crackle fingernail polish for mum? Check. A play 4G phone? “x”. The LG Optimus Slider or the HTC Wildfire S? “x”. This family is trying to be hood rich. Who in the hell wants a 4G phone and is 10 years old? My sister wants a 4G phone, and I am not the one who is gonna give it to her. I might just go to Rose’s and get one of those little TracFone camera phones, and call it Christmas.  I told my sister that I was gonna get her a phone, but it will only be provisioned for GPRS data service. GPRS is like 2G. Hell, No one in my family has a 4G phone. My cousin, I have the strangest feeling that he is gonna carry out my sister’s wishes and get her a damn 4G phone with Sprint. If she is gonna have any kind of phone, it had ought to be that ugly ass piece of shit Foodstamp phone. I know, for a min, she is gonna be asking me for my Samsung Intercept Android  phone and she already know my answer. No. That phone is going into stockpile, for if ever I need that phone again. Which it will sleep in heavenly peace, because this phone is not a phone for her. SHE DOES NOT NEED A DAMN 4G PHONE! Well, to be honest, my phone is a 3G phone, in which, that is alright for me. 3G has never had any problems with me, and I have never had a problem with it. What I might do, is hold all my Christmas money, and then buy the Motorola Triumph, which is on my Amazon Wish List. 

Potpourri Saturdays- Tahitian Treat, Appellate Committee, and Epson Scanners

As you may know, if you know that I live within walking distance to the loosie man, sometimes I fiend for a ice cold Tahitian Treat. Now, I don’t know where Tahitian Treat was made, all I know is that, despite the name, it was not made in Tahiti. It is consistent of water, high fructose corn syrup, red dye number 40 and sodium benzoate. It has 37g of sugar and it is caffeine free. I am usually a sucker for anything caffeine, which sets me apart from some people with Asperger Syndrome. If they have too much caffeine, their Asperger syndrome gets worse. Now, the bottle said that it was bottled under the authority of Dr Pepper/Seven Up Incorporation of Plano, Texas. So, it should be called the Southern treat, or the Texas Treat. To be politically correct, I can make some non-fizzy Tahitian Treat, because all you got to do is take a pack of fruit punch Kool-Aide and add 2 1/2 cups of sugar and stir it up for about 3 minutes straight. And there you go… Some good ass fruit punch. The only difference you would taste is the fact that it doesn’t have carbonation, and it may taste cleaner if you are using bottled water, instead of city water. Charlotte city water is nasty as fuck, but I have to use it because bottled water is so goddamn high. Well, at least after it is chilled, it tastes better than it does hot. I know that now, because used to like soda pop and Kool-Aide hot as hell. But now I know now.

On Wednesday, I will have to go to the Government Centre, to meet with the people with CATS’ Appellate Committee. Since I have Asperger Syndrome, I am gonna have to type up all the questions I would think that CATS would send me. I have even apportioned help from my mum and my aunt so I don’t say anything that would be detrimental to me getting back on CATS. Some of the questions that I think they are gonna ask me is “What did I do to get here today”, “What did I do to remedy this situation”, and “Why should we allow you to get back on CATS?” Well… Those are some of the hardest questions that I hope they don’t ask. And if they do ask those questions, I hope they don’t think they are gonna get a elongated story. I am gonna have to keep this short and sweet, because I still have to find a way to get back to the house, because I still got to go to Vocational Rehabilitation. My main goal is to woo them into getting back on CATS, as early as that afternoon. I will make up a plan list of what I will do when I get back on CATS, leaving out that I am gonna rekindle my relationship with my ex. Hell, I might call the girl I met at the courthouse. This is gonna be hell for me, because I would either have to ride the bike to Charlotte or ask my aunt to come down and take me to the Government Centre, learn what to say and what not to say, and sleep on Tuesday. You may never know… I might be able to get back on CATS. Just keep positive thoughts and continue to reiterate that CATS was always safe.

Yesterday, I was looking at some family photos, and I found a picture that I wish I would have never unearthed. It is a picture of my “father” and my mum together sitting on a pier on Myrtle Beach. Now, my family has never been to a beach in North Carolina, and they complain that Charleston is too expensive for them. I agree with them saying that Charleston is too expensive, because it is very expensive. Now, I when I unearthed this picture, I took the picture to my mum and I asked her in these exact words “Who in the hell is this nigga cuddled up on you?” When my mum said “Sherman”, I said “Oy vey.” I was about to commence to ripping up that photo and burning the motherfucker. We would have a bonfire in  the parking lot of our flat, and everyone would have been invited. Why? Well, because this man has absconded from fatherhood and I am here to say that this motherfucking bullshit stops HERE. To think that he could be here in Charlotte living in Ballantyne or even Sycamore Commons, it irks my nerve to the bleeding core.

New Guidelines That May Be Enacted

Now, before you go absolutely gaga thinking that this blog is going down, I am here to tell you that this nothing will change, except the mobile blog entries that is covered by the words “Sent from my Samsung Intercept Android by Virgin Mobile”, or coming soon “Sent from my LG Optimus V Android by Virgin Mobile” will have a new home. Now, this will be a bunch of things that will be enacted when I get my appeal response letter with the word “approved” on it. The reason why I am switching my mobile posting area to another blog, is because I will keep a regular diary of all of my raconteurs in Uptown Charlotte, should they see good in me. So, look for it.

A few other things I will enact should CATS approve my letter, is the following:

• I will send an all call for an apology to all of my webpages except for Black Gay Chat. Since most of my BGC constituents are out of Charlotte, there is no need for them to actually read this blog. However, I will put this on my BlogSpot, my WordPress, Facebook, Twitter and MySpace. The only problem with sending it on Twitter, is finding a way to send it in 140 characters or less.
• I will only blog happy things about CATS… It is self explanatory, and it is regardless of whatever happens when I am on CATS. Like, if I was on CATS, and I see a bus driver doing something for the greater good of the people, that is gonna be on my blog… If something bad happens, I will make a blog posting noting the good in the situation. Just like if a CATS bus that I am on have an accident (since 2005, I have been in one accident involving a CATS bus), I would say that “even though the vast majority of the people on the bus went to hospital, they are all gonna be alright”.
• The blog postings that I have made about CATS workers and their families, will be removed. The only reason I am doing this is because I wanna start back off where I left off… but as you may know, Liberty Tax Service is closed because it isn’t tax season, and the CIAA is coming in about February… That will coincide with my jury duty.
• The apology blog posting will be my de facto apology blog posting for WordPress. Now, I will duplicate the same one for BlogSpot. Why am I doing that? Well because there is little reason for me to change the current design of the blog posting.
• YouTube videos of CATS will be removed, except for those covered by local media. Veoh videos that are either a part of a episode or short will remain the same, because there was never a video threat to CATS.

Don’t worry about the mobile blog site… This will be fully up and running by January 2012. Earlier than that if I can get my Vocational Rehab lady to get me a bus pass for the month of December… So, if the appeal is returned to me, and approved, I will be back looking for jobs, and doing things that I wouldn’t be doing if I was at home. Yeah, I know looking for a job is something that should be done while I am at home. I have been looking at jobs, but how can I get to jobs without a way of getting there? I have to see the people at the Government Centre on 7 December 2011 at 1330. Wish me luck… I will need it.

Potpourri Saturdays- Thanksgiving, HTC Wildfire S, Releasing Medical Records, Skype

Welcome to the second instalment of “Potpourri Saturdays”. It will be the first instalment if you this post is still privatised because of the position I am in with my appeal request with CATS. I will tell you about something that they most likely may have to have in order for me to get back on CATS. But, most likely, this is out of my control. But whatever needs to be done before I can get back on CATS, other than waiting until 2013, it will be done. I will tell you what I think will happen in the Medical Records section or the Skype section.

So, Thanksgiving was, in my opinion, normal. I didn’t leave out the room and my family didn’t make as many flippant remarks as they would do on any other holiday. The nosh wherewithal was pretty normal as well. We had some chitterlings, hog maws, turkey, ham, dressing, macaroni and cheese, and other shit like that. I love some chitterlings, but I don’t eat everyone’s chitterlings. Now, some people spells chitterlings like this, or chitlins. I do spell chitterlings like this, so that the spell check don’t get a red squiggly line saying that I have misspelled a word, when I know I didn’t unless I wanted to. My blood pressure was normal when I started eating, but my mum wanted to make sure that I don’t get stuck in anyone’s Accident and Emergency, because of a blood pressure spike. Well, the doctors do say that the holidays are the days where people smoke a lot and eat a lot, and then their blood pressure go through the roof. My family came, and it was a happy occasion. Apart from them breaking my ground rules of “no football”, they watched football. I should have enforced that rule, because they spent more time talking about football instead of talking about what we are all thankful for. My aunt made me say grace, and she made the craziest flippant remark “Don’t make an atheistic prayer”. I told her that there is no such thing as a atheist prayer. Atheist don’t pray. I was an atheist, until I found out about the Episcopal church, and how nicely they conducts themselves. They are not like Baptist churches, where they thrust their homophobic views on you. The Episcopalian church is very LGBT tolerant, and I try and make this church service every Sunday… but since being banned from CATS, and the closest Episcopalian church being over 5 miles away, I have had to listen to their angelic hymnals via YouTube.

So, Black Friday is over, and it was a violent Black Friday. People in Central Florida is usually tame, unlike the hustle and bustle of South Florida. So, when it was brought to my attention that the centre of attention was in two men at the jewellery department in a Wal-Mart in Kissimmee, I had to look at the video on YouTube. And if you look at the blog posting preceding this one, I tell you that there was localised fights in a Wal-Mart in Cabarrus County. I combed through YouTube to see if someone posted video on their phone of this, but the searches of it comes up dry. I wonder if there was people fighting at Best Buy or Radio Shack to buy those HTC Wildfire S’ for $100? I am looking at this phone right now, and I want it more than ever, because if they have critical reviews of the Motorola Triumph, with simple shit like the sound quality being muffled to more complicated things, like popping in the sound of videos, I don’t want a phone that will be considered a lemon. Even though HTC phones are made in ROC (Taiwan), I think they pay more attention to detail then Samsung did with my Intercept. Samsung was made in South Korea. I would NEVER support North Korean communism.

Now, this is most pertinent, and the reason I am made the Potpourri Saturday blog series possible. CATS is currently reviewing my appeal for returning back on the bus. This might be one of the most undoable things CATS might ask for. While I am at Behavioural Health talking to my psychiatrist, they might drop this nutshell that they want me to get medical records and send it to them. It is against the law for them to try and get medical records for me by themselves, especially without my written consent. I will not allow them to get it regardless of whether or not I give them written consent.  Damn, this is the smallest paragraph I am writing today, but I think that the Skype section will be quite the same.

I have been on Skype for over 4 years, and I enjoy Skyping people. I am a pretty connected person, because I stay on YouTube, Facebook and Skype. When I was contacted by Bryan Leaird to see if I have a Skype account, I gladly said “yeah, I do.” I don’t know what this means, but I can’t go out to see Bryan Leaird, Officer and Mr Nipper. But, if this means that I can see all 3 of them, face to face via a computer, to get something that I need, well then let’s do it! He should call me on Monday or Tuesday and tell me his Skype code so that we can have a teleconference about my appeal. I will try and get the best out of this teleconference, because I need to get back on CATS, and if that means cutting off the Wi-Fi, I will have to do so.  What does that mean? Having to conduct this business in the dining room. My proposed flat looks a lot different than the one I live in now. I would like to live in Seigle Point or Arbour Glen. Why would I live in a flat on West Blvd or in the Belmont Neighbourhood? Well, they are newer flats, and Charlotte Housing Authority gives people with disabilities first priority. In order for you to get to Seigle Point, You would have to catch the number 4 Country Club bus to Seigle Ave and 10th St.  and in order for you to get to Arbour Glen, you would have to catch the number 10 West Blvd from either the Transit or the West Blvd LYNX Station and stop at West Blvd and Dalton Village.

I will keep you posted on my endeavours of getting back on CATS…

Black Friday Experience From A Neighbour’s Perspective

This is Black Friday frenzies at it’s finest. If CATS buses were running on regular schedule or 24 hour service, and if I was back on, I would be at them sales bobbing and weaving for some of them sales. Like, there was Belgian waffle makers and other things like food processors, blenders, other appliances, bikes, and other shit like that for dirt cheap. If I was with my family, I would most likely would have taken my aunt with me to go to Wal-Mart with me. Because when my neighbour told me her experience at a certain Wal-Mart in Cabarrus County, I said to myself “Damn.” Here is her story.

>> Neighbour: I go to the Wal-Mart in Concord at around 8:30p–

>> Me: Damn! You didn’t have time to digest your food, and get your thoughts straight. And what happened with your domestic arrangements?

>> Neighbour: I left the kids at home.

>> Me: Oh, that is great. I know the littlest would be screaming and crying.

>> Neighbour: Yep. So, we waited outside of the Wal-Mart in the cold. We were in a line, wrapped around the parking lot. I had to have about 5 cigarettes.

>> Me: I know. Wal-Mart to me is very hectic. Even the small Wal-Mart. I don’t even have to ask… it is in the suburbs, so it’s a Supercentre.

>> Neighbour: Not all Wal-Mart Supercentres are in the suburbs. Just like the one on North Tryon–

>> Me: God awful. Just like the Wal-Mart Supercentre on Wilkinson.

>> Neighbour: Right when 10:00p hit, the doors slid open and we bum rushed that door and all I see are these people going into the kitchenware section. They were hellbent on getting a $3 blender and a $3 Belgian waffle maker.

>> Me: They would have been; knowing how high a Belgian waffle maker is.  I would have been too. We need one of them.

>> Neighbour: They were fighting over the Belgian waffle makers!

>> Me: Oh shit. Were they fighting like men or just yelling and moaning and bitching?

>> Neighbour: Like men. One person got bopped upside the head with a waffle maker.

>> Me: Did you put it on YouTube?

>> Neighbour: I just got what I wanted and got up out of there. And you know them people were running to a closed electronics department?

>> Me: I can only guess. For those cheap ass computers and TVs?

>> Neighbour: Now, the computers were those Hewlett-Packard computers, and we all know that they are not cheap.

>> Me: I bet you those are those small netbooks.

>> Neighbour: Those were the full sized computers. They had big signs saying “Do not ring up computers, games, printers, or TVs until 8:00a Friday 25 November 2011.”  I wonder why. Were they giving any numbers or anything?

>> Me: They have a limit on how many they have in one store. I read the bold print, and they said that for, like for instance, the blue limited edition Wii, there is only 5 in the store in Michigan and Rhode Island. Or there maybe a limit of how many one person can order in that store. Like again, since we don’t live in either Michigan or Rhode Island, there is a limit of 3 Wiis a person can get at one time. I called the North Tryon store, and they told me that—I kid you not.

>> Neighbour: Well, I’m not getting my kids a blue Wii. Also, I looked at those beach cruisers and those beach cruisers look like kiddie bikes, bikes that can only fit your sister or my kids.

>> Me: Even if it was a 26” bike?  I will call the Goodwill where I got my bike from and I will see if they have a good bike for your fancy. Now I must tell you that the bikes are not Huffy bikes. These are Schwinn’s.

So, I called the people at the bike shop in Charleston, South Carolina where the bike had a sticker from. Their number has been disconnected. Then, I found out that Gary Fisher bikes are over $300! I wonder who the hell in their right mind would give a bike like that to the Goodwill of Northwest North Carolina.  I will tell her that Gary Fisher doesn’t make beach cruisers.

Be careful out there this Black Friday.

HTC Wildfire S or Motorola Triumph?

Since I have confidence that I will be finding a job pretty soon (and have the transport to go there, too), I am gonna make a comparison blog entry on the HTC Wildfire S and the Motorola Triumph. Now, if you are looking on Amazon for the HTC Wildfire S, you are out of luck. I have been looking for the phone to be on Amazon since they debuted the phone in October. But, you are in luck if you have $125. Because Radio Shack is having a sale on their HTC Wildfire S’ for Black Friday. Say what?! I kid you not. It has been on TV, and newspaper inserts, and there is a strict limit of 5 cell phones per person. But, I don’t think that there will be anyone who would buy 5 of the same mobiles. That will be too many Ragas playing on the phone. For those who don’t know what Raga is, it is a ringtone for Virgin Mobile and Assurance phones. When you are on the bus, and someone either has a Virgin or a food stamp phone, that will be the ringtone that plays. It has a hip hop beat to it. Why did I delve into Raga ringtone? Well, that is a disadvantage to buying 5 of the same phone, in the frenzy of buying a phone for $100; unless you unbox all 5, put different ringtones on the phone, call each 5 phones on Christmas Day, and have 5 people screaming like little schoolgirls. That is also the phone I am vying for. But for reasons know to everyone, my family said “Lamarr, we are not buying you a new phone.” People in my house think I am a phone aficionado. Which, in truthfulness is true. But, they also know that the reason I have the Samsung Intercept is because I was gonna give my mother my LG Rumour Touch. I would have never bought the Samsung Intercept because that phone was fucking up on me when I was at the Sprint store. At that time, I was inept of the fact that that phone was an Android phone. I really didn’t care what an Android was until I found out about the impeccable security features it has. That is one advantage Androids have over BlackBerrys. Now, don’t get me wrong; I love my BlackBerry, but that BlackBerry is on Cricket. I hate Cricket. So, let’s get down to the basics.

 

Now, the HTC Wildfire S has a 5MP camera. Same holds truth of the Motorola Triumph. Now, the HTC Wildfire S has one slight disadvantage over the Motorola Triumph. The HTC Wildfire S has DVD video quality, while the Motorola Triumph has a 720p HD video quality. I really don’t care about the next one, unless I have to do a Skype with the people at CATS and I am away from the computer. The Motorola Triumph has a front-facing camera, while the HTC Wildfire S doesn’t.  Oh well. I can tell the people at CATS that I am away from the computer, and we can do this some other time. Also, a disadvantage to disastrous effects.  I have read the reviews for the Motorola Triumph, and I see that the reviews say that the Triumph has problems with sound quality. Someone said that it sounded like a cat drowning… I really don’t care if I have to repeat myself. Shit, I have to do it everyday in this house. Another disadvantage is the price range. After Black Friday, the price of the HTC Wildfire S will go back to $200, while the Motorola Triumph seems to have been negated from any Black Friday sales (at least from what I see).  Their price is steadily at $300, unless you get it from Amazon. If you get it from Amazon (which is recommended), you would be looking at at least a $20-$50 savings; Which is something that my pocketbook loves to hear. Now, don’t think that I have a pocketbook, but I call my wallet a pocketbook.

I will keep watching my expenditures, because I will be buying either the HTC Wildfire S or the Motorola Triumph. Until the next phone comes out, happy hols.

Happy Thanksgiving To All

I would like to say Happy Thanksgiving to all of you out there in American Cyber Space. This year is being celebrated differently, because of my ban from CATS, and the imminent return to CATS buses and rails. Well, let’s get the reason I couldn’t get any footage from the Thanksgiving Parade in Charlotte. Well, living 2 miles away from the closest bus stop that actually runs on Sunday, and being banned from CATS has hindered me from going to the Thanksgiving Parade. Oh well, there are other parades and other times I can go. Hopefully, the next time you read this blog about a “special event” category, it is to celebrate Christmas or New Years. If Bryan Leaird, Officer Rappleyea and Mr Nipper can come to some sort of closure to try and get me back on the bus, I might be able to make a Christmas Eve Church Special. I will tell you why every Christmas is different. Well, I will give you a sneak peek. Christmas 2007 was like no other, because my grandmum was in hospital with MRSA. She made it out pretty alright. My family are troupers. Christmas 2008, I was thinking about my father and my ex. Neither of them call me like they should. It’s alright. The first thing I do when I get back on CATS, is go and get my man back by the power of 8” of dick. Christmas 2009, I was thinking “will my YouTube page be infiltrated with pissy quips from haters?” and the feeling that things were going to go dinkum in 2010. Christmas 2010, I just got out of gaol 5 days earlier, so that was definitely on my mind. I could have had an HD video camera, but my aunt wasn’t having my thuggish ruggish behaviour. Also fresh on my mind was the fact that I missed Elevation Church’s Christmas Eve Gift Giving Gala. I wasn’t banned from CATS then, but my mum wanted me to leave it, because she didn’t want me going back to gaol for Christmas.

This is what I am thinking is gonna happen. Just in time of Christmas, I would get the appeal letter returned from CATS telling me that my appeal has been either approved or denied. I put out a recent survey in my neighbourhood, which there is 120 people living in this neighbourhood, over 500 people living in our subdivision. 36% of people have the possibility of my appeal letter being denied, and 64% of people has the possibility of the appeal being approved, when told the actual reason why I have been banned from CATS. So, people are leaning towards my appeal being approved. That is gonna be on my mind, and a deal breaker for me. What if the appeal is denied? What if the appeal is approved on some caveats? As you may know I am the only one who is willing to ride on the bus to go absolutely everywhere that needs to be gone. My cousin said this himself “he is too good to ride on CATS”. My aunt don’t live in an area where CATS drives to. Plus, I have contacted the people at CATS to see if they can’t bring a bus to Catawba County, because most people work in Charlotte from Catawba County. Just look at how much traffic is on Hwy 16 from Charlotte to Newton every day including Saturdays.

While I am on the subject of Thanksgiving and Christmas, I will tell you this. BE AT RADIO SHACK AT 05:00! If you have $125, you can get the HTC Wildfire S for $100 plus tax at Radio Shack. I wish I had $125 in my bank account, because I would tell my aunt to stay tonight so I can get that phone for my damn self. Because I am about tired of this stupid ass Samsung Intercept. My neighbour’s niece has the Samsung Intercept as well, and she says it is shite. I can definitely vouch for that. Even for the language. The phone is pure shite. Samsung should be ashamed of themselves for making a phone so shitty. Oh well, I can just do some surveys to at least try to get the LG Optimus V.  And someone asked me whether or not to get the Samsung Intercept or the LG Optimus Slider. I tell them, either get the LG Optimus V or the LG Optimus Slider. Steer clear of the Samsung Intercept.

Get Them While You Can!

It is 00:30 and I am tired. I am just dying to tell you this though. Amazon finally released the phone I once ruled out, but now I am putting it back into play. It is the LG Optimus Slider. It is priced at sticker price, but to some people, paying $200 for a new phone might be their cup of tea. I know that if I have to buy a new phone, which the Samsung Intercept was only a temporary fix (since I would have had to get a new phone anyways, because my mother was switching to Virgin Mobile), I would have to pay between $50 and $300 for a new phone. As you may know, I am not buying the Motorola Triumph until I get a good enough job, and a reason to have a front facing camera and a back camera. Waving at Liberty Tax Service may be lucrative for a cheaper Android phone, but as you may know, my main goal is to only replace my phone with a better phone, and also to look into a car. I have to be anal about it. There is nothing more I would love to do than to just put my monies into buying bus passes to ride on CATS, but I have completely ruled that out. Since that is out the way, I got to look for me a car. My neighbour has a little Mitsubishi that she doesn’t drive, but she wants me to get a job, licence and insurance before I can get even a quote on how much she wants for the car. Anyways, I will continue to look for the best price for the LG Optimus Slider or even the HTC Wildfire S.

Now, the reason why I ruled out the LG Optimus Slider, is because it did not use Adobe Flash. I know, it is a stupid reason to rule out a phone, but I have to put it back on the map because this phone may be the cream of the crop. I have read some reviews on the LG Optimus Slider, and they say that the phone is very responsive, but it doesn’t use Flash. As long as YouTube works, I am fine with it. Also, they talk about the battery life is worse than the Samsung Intercept. This phone only works 65% of the time, and the other 35%, it’s just using up battery life and sitting frozen somewhere in Laa Laa Land. I have had the Samsung Intercept since 17 September, and I have only problems with this phone. The phone doesn’t dial out, but it dials in without any problems. That calls for me to take the battery out of the phone. Whenever I make a video, the sound on the phone goes to damn near mute, and that calls for another battery take-out. When I check-in to places using Foursquare, the phone absolutely freezes and restarts. 2 weeks ago, my phone would be frozen on the Samsung screen. I would have to hook the phone into the computer, and then restart it (since when it is on USB storage mode, it is unusable). Now, it hasn’t been doing that. Plus, I had to call 9-1-1 on a CATS bus (from the outside, full stop), about the bus having a headsign telling the motorists to dial 9-1-1 for emergency. The 9-1-1 lady was wondering “what the hell was I talking about?” Plus, the 9-1-1 lady asked where the bus was, so I told her that the bus was pulling up to The Plaza and Eastway at about 06:20. Hon, I was up at 05:30 that morning; it was Election Day. I wanted to emulate what I will do next year, when I vote for Barack Obama again.  But, hell. In 2008, I woke up at 04:30 and went to the polling precinct (Devonshire) at around 05:15. And guess what? My phone was stuck in Emergency Callback Mode. Since when has Charlotte gotten so technologically advanced to have reverse 9-1-1 on your mobile? That called for my phone to get the battery taken out.

So, I wanna tell you this. Get them while you can! Because you may never know, the price may go down all the way to $99.99 for the hols.

My Phone Almost Died On Me Last Night

I am gonna put this situation with CATS and “happy crack” on the back burner to tell you some unfortunate news. I almost had to give the final rites to my phone last night. The Samsung Intercept, which has been marred with problems ever since the day I got the damn thing, was stuck on the Samsung screen after I downloaded the Urban Dictionary app for my phone. So, what happened was, after 6 power cycles, my phone sprung back to life, just before I was to give that phone its final rites, thus putting my telecommunications on hold until I can get a replacement phone. So, the next thing I am gonna do, is see if I can get a replacement phone. Something like the LG Optimus V or the LG Rumour Touch. Hell, even the LG Rumour Touch had a better reputation with me, because that was my baby, right there. The only problem I had with it was that it had a hairline crack in the battery. So, I will call Virgin Mobile and see what I can get, because this is crazy as hell what kind of shit this phone has been giving me.

My phone is working miraculously well right now to be 13:10 after not having been charged since 01:30. After making a YouTube video of something I will tell you about immediately after I get in touch with the people of CATS. This has been the most eventful month I have ever had, and this is crazy as hell. I am gonna call Robert Nipper back at around 15:00, and if the story changes, I am gonna make the trip to the post office and put in that appeal. Hopefully my phone works as good as it does now, at 15:00, because as long as the skies remain overcast, I will be on the road to the post office. Back to the task at hand, my goal is still intact. I will be talking on the Motorola Triumph when 14 February hit if it is the last thing that I do.

What Is Happening To Our Children?

Again, parting ways with Wall-to-Wall coverage of my CATS ban, I have put it on the back burner (but not for long; on Regulo 7). So today, my sister gets off her school bus and tells me that she got a new bus driver… not the shit I wanted to hear after waiting until 15:30 for her bus to come along. Just a few minutes ago, I was looking at a paper that came from her school. It seems like the children are now taking into making counterfeit drugs. Is this some shit that Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools are now teaching our kids in inner-city schools? I just went out on a cigarette break and guffawed through the entire smoko. It seems like our kids are learning how to make something called “happy crack”, which is comprised of Kool-Aide and sugar. This is some crazy ass shit that the headmaster at Joseph W. Grier Academy pawning off on the 4th and 5th graders. I am still laughing at that this shit. I am surprised that children this early in age are already learning how to make counterfeit drugs.  This is some crazy ass shit, full stop. I told my sister that she is not to take my Kool-Aide or sugar out the house, because I will end up having to use that sugar and Kool-Aide as soon as this sale on Pepsi MAX is up at the CVS.

The letter also said that children who bring “happy crack” to school will be subject to suspension or arrest from Charlotte Police. How the fuck is that gonna help? Back when I was in Elementary school, we only had to worry about pot coming in. Since we lived in the ghetto suburbs, we didn’t go to a bad elementary school, we didn’t have to worry about that in our educational lives. We only had to deal with that in our regular lives. I really didn’t care what my sister’s father did to himself, because I hated him then, and I have everlasting lividness with him. Why? While he was living in a 2 storey house in West Charlotte, we struggle month to month, even to pay the rent in our 3 bedroom flat. Anyways, happy crack is new to me. Because I know of regular crack.  According to Urban Dictionary, they claim that the origin is somewhere in Southwestern Pennsylvania. And they also claim that kids can get the same amount of suspension days if they had bought real crack to school. That is crazy as hell. And I tell you this for a reason. Because this is the craziest shit I have ever heard and I am appalled at Charlotte Mecklenburg Schools for even bringing that to the parents’ attention. What’s worse? A child in my sister’s class bought some happy crack with him to school and tried to sell it. What kind of bullshit is this and it questions what the fuck is being taught in school. Not reading, writing and arithmetic, because my sister told me that her maths teacher sucks ass. My neighbour’s children go to Lansdowne and Briarwood. We are not sending her to either one. We will do Morehead Elementary beforehand any other school. I know it is on Neal Road, but I will take my sister through great lengths to get a good education.

Comparison of Phones I Want

The following is a comparison of all the things I am looking for in a phone. I made it into a succinct chart you can easily understand.

	Motorola Triumph	LG Optimus V	LG Optimus Slider	HTC Wildfire S	Samsung Intercept
Price	$299.99	$129.99	$199.99	$199.99	$99.99
Back Camera	5MP	3.2MP	3.2MP	5MP	3.2MP
Front Camera	VGA (640X280)	No	No	No	No
Video Quality	720p HD	VGA	VGA	DVD	CIF (352X288)
Size	4.1” Touchscreen	3.2” Touchscreen	3.2” Touchscreen, Physical Keyboard	3.2” Touchscreen	3.2” Touchscreen, Physical Keyboard
HDMI Port	Yes	No	No	No	No
Android	2.2	2.2, 2.3	2.3	2.3	2.1, 2.2

A piece of strong advice: I would like for you to reconsider your need in purchasing the Samsung Intercept, unless you are really strapped for cash and need a phone badly.

PRICE: My budget for a phone is $250 and only with Amazon currency. Now, most people already know what that means… If I opt to get either the LG Optimus V, I would have to go on Amazon every waking moment to look for the best deal; because the price always changing.

BACK CAMERA: The lowest megapixel (MP) of a phone I am going for is 3.2MP. Someone pawned a phone off on my neighbour and it only had a 2MP camera, and she asked me why the pictures are coming in so small and so blurry. She bought the phone from Boost Mobile for $200 and it only had a 2MP camera. I would have told her to leave Boost Mobile and go to Virgin Mobile and get a phone for $150 that takes better pictures.

FRONT CAMERA: Now, this is something that I would like to have, but as you may know, I still have to give you my lowest megapixel I would take for a front camera as well. The lowest megapixel of a front camera I am going for is VGA quality. I really don’t care about the front camera because if I have to do a videoconference with someone, I would use my computer.

VIDEO QUALITY: The lowest quality of video that I am going for after I abdicate myself from the Samsung Intercept,  is at least VGA quality. I have acclimatised myself to having a VGA quality YouTube video. All it is to it.

SIZE: Now, the eggheads want me to put this on my blog entry to show you a comparison of the phones I am talking about. I added also whether or not it has a physical keyboard or not, just to show you that you don’t have too many choices in whether you are a big texter reliant on a physical keyboard to do all of your texting.

HDMI PORT: That is something I just don’t need, because we only have one television in our house that could use the HDMI port, but I barely use it. Barely means only to watch Jeremy Kyle Show.

ANDROID: Virgin Mobile may not ever get a Symbian or an iPhone or a Windows Phone, so I put in the version that the phone comes with and whether it is upgradeable to either 2.2 or 2.3. Now, I am talking about Virgin Mobile in the United States, not in Canada or England. Hell, even if they had an iPhone, I wouldn’t get it.

I hope that this chart helps you out on your future purchase on any of the phones I have told you about.

Paying Court Costs and New Phones

This has got to be one of the most indispensable rituals that I uphold to. Every second Tuesday, I have to go to the Mecklenburg County Courthouse to pay my court costs.  My court costs are $6.50 every month, and I have about $106.10 left to pay. I don’t get why I am only paying as little as possible, because I am trying to get back on the good foot with people, and not just sit at home watching Dr Phil and Jeremy Kyle all day every day. Since I want the new HTC Wildfire S or the LG Optimus Slider, here is what I am gonna do. I am gonna divvy up all my expenditures so that I can put more on court costs and keep my Amazon currency intact. I know I am gonna have to keep some money in my account so that I can get cigarettes and pop, but I might have to tweak it a little. If CATS can get my appeal without having to pay court costs, I would love that. But the man at CATS is stuck in his ways, because he wants a paper that might not even exist. I have told him that the paper that he is looking for is non-existent. But here is what I am gonna do. I am gonna send Mr Nipper an e-mail asking him “is this the paper that you are looking for?”

I am gonna buy a new phone from Amazon soon, and I am shopping around to look for the best price for either the LG Optimus V, the Motorola Triumph, the LG Optimus Slider or the HTC Wildfire S. If CATS accept my appeal letter, I will pay my court costs on time, and add a little bit more in my Phone Fund. I thought after my Samsung Intercept came, that I would have to do away with the Phone Fund. But since my phone isn’t doing as good as I first thought, I will have to get a new phone. And once I get a new phone, I will put this phone back where I bought it. Amazon. I will put it up for about $110, because the phone came with Android 2.1 Eclair, and I updated it to the most popular 2.2 Froyo. And it will also come with Angry Birds and Angry Birds Rio already on the phone. How nice is that? But that is predicated on my getting a new phone. Virgin Mobile has yet to release those two phones onto Amazon but hopefully it happens soon, and hopefully they will have variable pricing, where one week it is cheaper, than another week the price goes up. My main goal is to get (either) the LG Optimus Slider or the HTC Wildfire S as cheap and as new as I can most possibly can. Now, if they have a sale on the Motorola Triumph, that would be most good. I really want that Motorola Triumph. I am gonna print out a spread sheet so that I can track my expenditures and get the best deal for the phone. I am gonna make it to model a bank ledger. I am also extending my due date for a new phone, to 14 February 2012. Hopefully I can get this whole situation with CATS fixed in time so I can get a job where I used to work. And then, I will be able to put in Amazon gift cards I can buy in the store.

I Have Set A New Goal

Switching gears from the regular CATS banter (I put that on the back burner on regulo 1) to tell you that I am gonna make a new goal. According to Virgin Mobile’s website, they have out two new phones. The LG Optimus Slider and the HTC Wildfire S. The main differences is that the Optimus Slider has a slide out QWERTY keyboard, while the Wildfire S doesn’t. The Optimus Slider has a 3.2MP camera and a VGA video quality, and the Wildfire S has a 5MP camera and a DVD video quality. The cost is the same ($199). To me, a phone like an LG Optimus Slider should not exceed $150, and the HTC shouldn’t exceed $500. But you know what? Since most of my neighbours have HTC phones, I might as well keep up with the joneses. How am I gonna do that? Well, since surveys are coming and going like hotcakes, I am gonna to make a goal to get this phone by at least year’s end. If I continuously put in $10 and $20 in doing surveys on Amazon, I could get this shit done in almost about 6 months.  That’s if I qualify on all of these surveys that crowd up my inbox, and cash out every chance I get. Until then, I will have to deal with this Samsung Intercept. I enjoy the phone; the only problem is that the phone has to force close on me sometimes, and I can’t dial out sometimes.

The main reason why I would want the LG Optimus Slider, is because I have a very good rapport with LG. My old phone has been very good to me and I had only 1 problem with it, and that is a hairline crack on the battery. That is not a big deal to me, since my mother is using the phone now; but if she needs a new battery, I will send for one on Amazon. But, I got to reprioritise and remember what I need. Printer ink, lens for my reading glasses, and paying off court costs. Paying off court costs have always been a problem for me, because Mecklenburg County only accepts hard cash and money orders. Not traveller’s cheques or any kind of cheque in that matter. Another reason I would want the LG Optimus Slider is because of the video quality. I think it would look better than the Samsung Intercept. Another thing that appeases me about the LG Optimus Slider is the 800mHz processor. The Samsung Intercept boasts a 800mHz processor, but the phone is very unstable. I would think that the LG Optimus Slider would make the most of its 800mHz processor, so when I play Angry Birds or type up some documents, it will work like it should, and not like a bastardised version of the Android.

The main reason why I would want the HTC Wildfire S is because I have never had an HTC phone before, and people have rave reviews about HTC. My neighbour has the HTC EVO 4G and I can tell you myself from testing it out at the Sprint store, it is state of the bleeding art. Though it will remain state of the bleeding art in the Sprint store, because I am not spending $200 on a phone and  be bound by both a mandatory 4G access charge and a 2 year agreement. Rave reviews like “This phone is durable—I dropped this phone and it still works” and “I am gonna get a tattoo of HTC’s moniker because their phones are off the chain.”  What would happen if I got HTC’s moniker tatted on me? I wouldn’t get three letters engraved in my body that may not exist after the fall of the Androids and Windows Phones. Another reason I would want the HTC Wildfire S is because of the 5MP camera and DVD quality video quality. Then again, I would love to get the Motorola Triumph when the cost goes down. That phone features a 5MP camera on the back and a VGA camera on the front. Anyways, There is another reason why I would like the HTC Wildfire S is because it doesn’t include that mandatory 4G access charge. Who needs 4G when they have Wi-Fi and a fast enough 3G when we are out of the Wi-Fi range? I like the anticipation of waiting for a web page to load. It gives me enough time to compose my thoughts and think of where I am supposed to be going with this webpage.

You may never know, I might have another phone to add to the competition. Because I have the feeling that Virgin Mobile will be drop the price of the Motorola Triumph. And if that happens, I will make sure that I keep my monies in Amazon in contempt  because that is the phone I was mainly wanting because of the front facing camera and the ability to shoot videos in 720p high definition. But there is always the problem with security with the phone. Especially if you live in an area like I do, a lock pattern is a must. I tell you, before I go to the Loosie Man or anytime after the street lights come on, I set my lock pattern. Because you may never know who is lurking, trying to get a five-finger discount on a Christmas gift on your accord.

Being Stared At

Since being ambushed and gaoled at the Transit back in December, I learned to see why people are staring at me or my associates. So, yesterday, I had to go to CVS, and Family Dollar for some toiletries and pop. So, after getting some Q-tips and pop at the CVS, I walked up to the Family Dollar adjacent to CVS. Since the Rite-Aide left the area, that is the closest pharmacy to the house, and so I said “Let’s kill two birds with one stone. There is a Family Dollar right here within walking distance.” So, from the time I opened the door to Family Dollar to the time I leave the store, there was this old man, in a striped plaid shirt and some Rocawear jeans, ogling at me. I think he wanted me to mumble to myself to say “He’s cute” or some shit like that. Well, hon, he was not cute. Staring at people is not cute. My main question was “was he looking at my attire, or my ass?” Well, my attire isn’t as good as you think it would be. Usually, I go to the store wearing plaid pyjamas and a orange pullover hoodie. I don’t think he was looking at my attire, because he didn’t dress his age. He had grey hairs all over the place, so I would presume that he is about 45 or 50. All I know, is if I show up on something like The People of Wal-Mart, I know whose arse to kick. It says in my phone manual “Do not take pictures or video without consent from who you are filming.”

I am gonna tell you this beforehand, you can stay in your little Mitsubishi and leave me the hell alone, because my ass is off limits to the masses. When I get my accoutrements to the front for checkout, I can see that he got into a Mitsubishi Galant, and waited a couple of minutes before pulling off. I stayed in that store until he left, because I don’t know whether or not he is a sex offender. I have said this once before and I will say it again, “I will never commingle about with a sex offender. So, don’t waste your time.” This is for my safety and your freedom. I know, I am being stereotypical, but I got to think logically about it. They are on the sex offender registry for a reason.  I will look him up; I never forget a face. Staring at me like that. Do you think I was stealing? The audacity! Thinking I would steal anything from Family Dollar. It is like stealing something from the Wal-Mart. Two stores I rely on.  I checked his credentials by face, and nothing shows up.

This isn’t the first time that this has happened. One time, I had to go to Family Dollar right at 5 minutes before the store closed, and what happened was this old bitch in an (older model) Mercedes Benz, she looked at me like I was crazy, smoking a cigarette next to the water purification system at the store. Comes to find out, when she gets into the store, she asks the general manager to walk her out to her car. She thought I wanted to rob her! If I was to see the lady, I would tell her that I have the best interest of the masses at heart. I am not a robber, a killer or stealer. I am a regular 21 year old, with one blemish on his record. The only thing I have on my mind is cute women and men, money and getting a car—the legal way, that is. So, do stop staring. My question is “Who the fuck in their right mind would wanna steal a 90’s model Mercedes Benz?” The bloody thing isn’t even a Kompressor!  Well, maybe someone in a crack addicted rage would. You can rule me out because I don’t smoke weed or crack. Crack is running rampant in East Charlotte, cos they follow you to the store, begging for a cigarette or money.

I might dress up whenever I go to the store now, because a someone like me has standards, and I am not gonna give any exceptions, unless you have been grandfathered in. I think the next time I go to the store, I will take the time to put on some outside clothes, and not pyjamas. A note to that man. You look old. Go into uptown. They are swarming with people who have less stance of standards than I do. And my system isn’t broken, so why not?

Why I Am Keeping Google Latitude On My Phone

With the anticipation of myself getting back on CATS, I have elected to keep Google Latitude on my phone as a way to keep my phone safe from svengalis who want my phone. I am also iffy on whether or not to get a lock pattern or PIN on my phone.  All I do know is that if he wants to steal a phone, he can get my food stamp phone.
I do not get why people think that they can be friends when they have stolen something of theirs anyways. So, that is the reason why I got Google Latitude on my phone… because one thing stolen without charges being pressed can lead to another. Now, don’t get me wrong; I did go to the magistrate. The magistrate told me that she can’t press any charges because I do not know his address.
I think I am gonna get a PIN on this phone. Because a lock pattern is too easy, and a password– with three wrong entries, they can use their GMail address and get back into the phone. Bad idea. I am not gonna allow anyone to use this phone anyways, but as you may already know, anything is possible.

-Sent from my Samsung Intercept Android by Virgin Mobile.

Samsung Intercept Review

This is my first ever phone review, so go easy on me. So, today, we are going to take a look at the Samsung Intercept. It features a 3.2MP camera, a 3.2” touchscreen and a slide out QWERTY keyboard, which I find easy to use and spacious—that are on most Samsung phones. So, let’s take a look at what it is. It has a lot of bloatware, that I cannot seem to get off the phone. Some apps I find pretty useful, and some I find pretty aggravating; some apps like AirG Chat, Amazon MP3 and WHERE apps are very aggravating and redundant. I do not use Amazon MP3 for anything, since I put all my songs that I want to hear on my SD card. If you buy the phone in the store, it will come with a 2GB microSD card; however, I bought mine secondhand from Amazon and there wasn’t a microSD card in it—no biggie. I have a 8GB microSD card anyways. Now, let’s get back to the task at hand. AirG Chat is pretty useless if you are on Tagged, and MocoSpace, and have their respective apps. The WHERE app looks for places to go and eat, drink and local information from your location at that time. Where I live, the closest thing to gourmet food is either Tops China or the delicatessen at the Food Lion. I don’t truthfully care for an app like that because if I am jonesing for some Chinese food, I will pursue it at all cost anyways. That is the main reason I find the WHERE app useless.

Let’s look at the aesthetics of the phone. Like I said in the beginning of this blog posting, that this phone features a 3.2MP camera. The camera works pretty well if you know how to decipher the little monikers and the little bells and whistles that the phone has. The cool thing about the camera is that is has a feature that shows a whiteboard look at you.  It also features a 3.2” touchscreen. The eggheads prefer the touchscreens to be between 3.5” and 5”.  I don’t care about that, because I have had the LG Rumour Touch. It claimed to have a 3” even touchscreen, so there is no biggie for me. Mainly the reason I got the phone is the Android operating system. The version that the Android operating system had preinstalled was 2.1 Eclair. I immediately upon arrival of the phone, updated the OS to 2.2 Froyo. I am pretty satisfied with the phone now. The only problem I have is when I play Angry Birds. Some times, the phone has to force close the app because of some reason. I think it is because I flick the birds one after another without giving the graphics enough time to render to see what the birds hit. But, at least it works like it should 99% of the time.  I am not about to tell you what I like about the phone itself, as people have told me that this is boring and wasteful. The volume control rocker and the microSD card slot is on the left hand side of the phone, and the camera button is on the right side of the phone.

The phone is currently $149.99 on Virgin Mobile’s website and Amazon has the phone for as low as $100 used. I got my phone for $103.76 on the nose including shipping and handling. Now, I mainly think that large scaled texters and people who do not like touchscreens as much would get this phone because of the QWERTY keyboard. I, myself, got the phone mainly to nurse back to health and make people think differently. I have had a very good rapport with Samsung and I wouldn’t think differently about this phone.

I forgot all about Latitude. The only reason I have Latitude on my phone is because it is conscripted bloatware. I call Latitude “stalker software.” And why? Because if someone who you don’t know or care knowing about have your e-mail address, they can track your every move. So, I might just have to get this off because I don’t want people knowing where I am at all times. Well, maybe not, because I feel dinkum that someone is gonna take my cell phone and I will have to track it down.

End of Anger Management

So, the end of anger management is near, and I am so happy! In anger management, I learned how to keep the widow maker from banging on my door by using the "breathe in, breathe out" method, letting petty shit go, being a much happier person, and to not get involved with shit that would make me go to gaol. It is a reminder of what I have been through that makes me to be a better person. Even though me and the counsellor butt heads during some sessions, I thank her for coming from persnickety ass Ballantyne to Candlewood every week just for me.

I know a lot of good things will happen after completing anger management. I will have proper man training to mould myself into a nicer, more refined young man and moreover practise nonviolent values within myself. People would think of me as being nonviolent anyways, because I laugh shit off anyways. And being that this is the worst thing I have done to myself that would even warrant me going to anger management, I have come to a closure to that. To all the people I have hurt with my hateful comments and my use of ungodly words, I sincerely apologise to all of you.

In 24 weeks, I have turned from a heartless bitch to a imperfect gentleman, and it had to take the courts  to make to realise how much I needed anger management. Now, if someone else calls me a faggot, I know now to ignore it because a faggot is a bundle of sticks or a food in England. I am a much happier person now that I realise all that I have done is detrimental to my social life. I want to be the guy that everyone loves and not the guy you love to hate. For some reason, before the judge ordered me to undergo anger management , that was my goal—to piss off as many people as I could. Now, I wanna make up with the people I have caused much grief over, because I want everyone to say something good at my wedding or funeral.

- Sent from my Samsung Intercept Android by Virgin Mobile.

Quit Sobbing!

When I was looking at YouTube videos, wondering what kind of phone to get, people were telling me to steer very clear from the Samsung Intercept. But, I found out that most people were talking about the phone when it had Android 2.1 Eclair on it. People, I have the Samsung Intercept and I am posting this from my mobile phone.

I think a few people owe Samsung an apology. The simple reason why is because when people made their reviews about the Samsung Intercept, they used the Android 2.1 and not Android 2.2 like what I got on my phone at the current moment. Most people had the Samsung Intercept, making reviews up to two weeks after  the actual release of the Android 2.2 update. People, if you are having issues with your Samsung Intercept, update it to 2.2 Froyo. If you are still having problems with it, then too bad. I don’t know about the Android operating system on phones, as this is my first Android phone. I specialise in BlackBerrys and BlackBerrys only. You can come back in a couple of months when I work with the phone, to find out all that I can do with the bloody thing. I know what people were talking about isn’t truthfully right. The phone doesn’t lag as much as they say. Within the 4 days I have had this phone, this phone has been on it’s best behaviour. I am surprised. No lagging.  I can also play Angry Birds without graphic rendering. I am getting hooked in trying to get all of those poor birds out of the cages. For those who want to know what version I am playing, I am playing Angry Birds Rio. Also, the battery life isn’t as bad as people have said—it isn’t as bad, but it isn’t as good as I have seen in other phones (that doesn’t have Android). I think Android OS uses up a lot of juice in your battery because the operating system is reliant on data usage.

I will be making a review of the Samsung Intercept phone that will make people think about whether they want the Optimus V or the cheaper Intercept. Even though the Intercept may come with Android 2.1 Eclair, it is easily updateable to Android 2.2 Froyo. I would give you this warning… 3G isn’t as fast as most people like it, so if you are getting the update, update it using Wi-Fi. On my Wi-Fi, it only took 15 minutes for the update to go through and restart. And to the trolls, don’t come up to my page starting shit, because I got the “Fastest Internet for the Price” deal at AT&T. And that, honey boo child, is good enough for me. You can’t beat $15 for unlimited DSL. 

-Sent from my Samsung Intercept Android from Virgin Mobile. 

“Pasta So Good, You Smell It All The Way Home”

The Olive Garden

8010 Concord Mills Blvd

Concord, NC 28027

My motto is: Keep the probation officer happy, stay away from gaol. My aunt didn’t understand English when it came down to it, because I had told her that I cannot leave the county in good faith. I already left the county once to go to Ruby Tuesday and my probation officer found out, and she told me to call her whenever I was going intercounty or interstate, just to check in with her. I thought I told my mum that I wanted to go to the Northlake Mall location, because they do not use every herb and spice known to man to make pasta so good, you smell it all the way home. That is one downside of living closer to Cabarrus County than Northlake. Even though I would have curtailed even having to worry about Curtis Spragion by going to the one in Northlake, the one in Concord Mills is closer to the flat. Plus, we left our grandmother at home. It wasn’t as happy of a birthday, because she wasn’t there. My main motive to going to Olive Garden is to get her to come with us. Next year, we might patronise PF Chang’s.

So, we get to the parking lot. The parking lot was filled to the brim, because, well… it is a Saturday night in Suburbia.  My aunt’s friend went ahead and got our seating arrangements made up for 5 people. Our estimated time of arrival was about 15 minutes from Statesville Road and I-85 and the estimated seating time was 1 hour. I jokingly told my mum “with the time we got to wait, we can go hit the shops”. Even though the next shopping I will be doing, will be fall/winter clothes shopping. I will not go to Ross for clothes shopping. Only for when I got to get something for Jury Duty, and by that time, I will be freshly back on CATS without a care in the world. Why would I not shop at Ross? Because Ross’ stores are a skinny people store. When I found me some Ecko Shorts in my size, I was surprised.  I wear a size 42 waist, 32 pant leg and size XXL or size XXXL shirt. I don’t like wearing shirts in my XXL, because it is too small for me to sag my jeans with. To pass the time, I was thinking of playing Angry Birds on my mum’s iPod, but unfortunately, she left it at home. So, instead, I told my mum and my aunt my speech about what apps I am gonna get for my Android phone. By the time I told her why I wasn’t putting Angry Birds on my phone, the little vibrating sphere that the people gave us started to buzz.

When we get in, we get seated. Knowing that we should have got a booth seating arrangement, I kept mum about it because there was too many people to change seats. I told the waiter when she brought out a sample wine, “I would love to partake in some wine, but I left my ID at home.” She said that that was alright; I looked old enough. I still didn’t take up the offer of wine. I’ll get a Four Loko in due time. So, I got some Dr Pepper with no ice, and everyone else got water, except my sister. My sister got orange juice. Why in the hell did she get orange juice for dinnertime? Anyway, my mum and I got the Never Ending Pasta Bowl, because the price of a bowl of shrimp Alfredo and spaghetti and meatballs with pizzaiola sauce would be $16. And that is what I got by myself. I don’t know what my mum got, but it looked like vomit. My aunt and her friend got the sampler with salad. My sister got pizza. So within 15 minutes, we got our salad and breadsticks; we started eating. As you may know, I don’t like any pepper or any kind of spicy concoction in my salad, so– much to my chagrin—I found 3 pepperoncinis in my salad. I gave them to my mum.  That is one downfall. I don’t like spicy salad.

Our food came within 30 minutes of the salad and breadsticks, which in our family isn’t a lot of time; especially with appetisers unlimited. Now, don’t knock my family, cos we will eat the hell out of some salad. I got the spaghetti and meatballs with pizzaiola sauce first of all. The food was absolutely delicious. After that,  I was full.. Child, I got my Shrimp Alfredo to go. After that, we were rearing to go, because I was the last to finish, because I was hellbent on getting the most out of this trip. My night was over.

I was happy because I went to both Ruby Tuesday (in pernickety ass Ballantyne) and to the Olive Garden. That is good for me. Let’s see what my 22nd birthday is gonna bring along.

Being Man Enough to Make a Mistake

I made a big mistake that I have yet to stomach. Even though I reached my goal, I went and bought the cheapest used Android phone that Virgin Mobile had to offer for Amazon. I ended up buying the Samsung Intercept. Before I did it, I checked both the price for a new and a used LG Optimus V, but the prices didn’t change since Sunday. When I clicked “place your order”, I found out the hard way that the phone I really wanted dropped about $60. If I would have taken my time, and would have waited for Opinion Outpost to get my monies in check, I would have had the Optimus V. But, you know what? I am not gonna fret none. As long as I have Facebook, TweetDeck and DataViz on my phone—in working order—I will be alright. I will nurse the phone to health, rather fast because I will be updating the operating system from Éclair to Froyo (Android has names like Donut, Éclair, Froyo, Gingerbread, and Honeycomb for their OS’). I think that is the main problem with the phone—people are talking about their phones freezing and horrid graphics—could all be fixed with the update from Eclair to Froyo.

The main reason I didn’t say Angry Birds, is because Angry Birds will eat up my time, and that is hellacious. Though, it would be nice to play Angry Birds on my phone… it will help me stay out of trouble. Another app that I may not get is the “Ride CATS” app. Why? I am banned, and I ain’t getting any bus passes for it, so why the fuck am I gonna get the app to help people get to their buses on time? Another app that I may not get or will delete at first sight is “Google Latitude”. I have 2 stalkers, plus CATS and a probation officer who wanna know where I am at all times, so why get it? I’d keep it on there only if my probation officer needed to know my every move, but not because CATS wanna know if I am riding on one of their buses or trains to Laa Laa Land; and especially not for my two stalkers. I will let Mecklenburg County magistrates deal with them, because one just got out of gaol, and he wants to beg the hell out of me for money and ass. I am not giving up my ass, I’ll meander to his gander, but not vice versa. Another thing is “Daily Bible”. I don’t think I need Daily Bible on my phone, because I am still wondering whether or not there is a God out there. And if there was a God, why did he make the people at CATS hate me so much they banned me? Also, if there was a better way with God, why wouldn’t he make a way for me to go to St Peters every Sunday for 10:30 service?

I know what kind of apps I am getting on my phone, just can’t think of them off the top of my head. The following is just a short list and excerpt for the reason I am gonna put this on my phone:

• TweetDeck: So, I can send off a quick tweet on the go, or if something happens to my Internet at home, I will still have some sort of normalcy.
• Facebook for Android Devices: I need Facebook on my phone to see what my Facebook friends are talking about, and also check into places and get some deals for checking in.
• DataViz: The main reason I am gonna put this on my phone, is because this phone is called a “dumb smartphone”, and I will treat it like a BlackBerry. I have DataViz on my BlackBerry, and I can make letters on the go and view PowerPoint slideshows on the go.
• WordPress for Android: So I can blog while on the go about anything and everything… (i.e. Going to the loosie man, sitting in a queue at the pharmacy)
• NewsChannel 36: Duh, because that is my favourite news channel. My mother doesn’t like NewsChannel 36, but I locked it in her iPod, so she is stuck with it until I take it off; I absolutely hate everything about Channel 9, and I wish not to get the Channel 9 app. They like to beat about the bush.
• iTriage: So I can keep a track of my medical records, my copays, wait times at the hospitals and urgent cares, and more.
• Medscape: Because doctors at Behavioural Health like to mix and match medicines and not look at contra-interactions and that other shit.
• QR Reader: McDonalds and Subway are starting to use QR codes to give their constituents deals on their food. I wouldn’t use it at McDonald’s though; I always get shit off the dollar menu.
• ShoutOUT: Fuck texting “ I will call you in a minute love.” I can just say “I will call you in a minute love”. It will make the message. It is something like Lernout and Hauspie, which is damn cool!
• The Weather Channel: I watch the Weather Channel 3 hours straight everyday. I don’t know why, because being a meteorologist means a shitload of maths and all I need to be in broadcast journalism is a few maths and a lot of English.
• Lose It!: I need to lose me some weight, so I ride the bike everyday 4 miles, and what is going on is I need a food diary, so hopefully this will work for me.
• Trapster: Cos you know I like to drive like a bat out of hell, I need something that will help deter The Boys from giving me a speeding ticket.

I think there are more to look for because there are over 500,000 apps in the Android Market. I don’t know about you, but I am gonna have fun nursing this phone back to health.

Samsung Intercept or LG Optimus V?

Since I met my goal early, I am looking at the phones and what I see is that there is a big difference of satisfaction within two phones. The Samsung Intercept and the LG Optimus V. I looked from A-Z, searching for both the pros and cons for both of the phones. There are not a lot of cons for the LG Optimus V. There is, however a lot of cons for the Samsung Intercept. I will get to that later, and this time I promise.

The LG Optimus V has a lot of raving comments about using the phone as a moving Wi-Fi hotspot. I think that is a good point, but since Virgin Mobile use that kind of technology like that, it would be “using your mobile for illegal purposes”. They also have rave reviews on Google Maps and Navigation. I am surprised at some of the things that these people have said about this phone, especially about them sending their old GPS’ to the pawnbrokers. One review I read said that that all of the roads in their area comes up in clarity, street and 3D view and all that good shit my phone doesn’t have. Now, don’t get me wrong, my phone has Google Maps with Street View, but it isn’t updated as much as Charlotte has… In the span of a couple of years, Charlotte has grown almost 100,000 people.  I wouldn’t mind having Google Maps and Navigation continuously updated and operable. There is also a bunch of people who is talking about the clarity of Angry Birds. Rovio made that game to put people in a place where they drain their batteries and put them in a state of impaired mobility; it is very addicting, trying to kill those ugly ass green pigs. I am proud that it is clear, and I am gonna consider that when it comes to a new phone. Maybe Virgin Mobile comes out with a new phone, and it takes out the guesswork on whether or not that phone will be preloaded with Angry Birds. But my question is, what does ornithologists think about this game? I don’t think we have an ornithological society here in Charlotte, but I know someone who is a bird lover would be absolutely appalled at it, but I wouldn’t care.

The main rants are talking about the battery life. Now, I currently have the LG Rumour Touch, and my battery life is absolutely stellar. I can use it for about 15 minutes, and the battery still lasts me 4 days, if I make a phone call everyday. Androids have been known to have low battery life, because of all the apps and shit that you have on the phone, and also how the operating system is made to be. Now, I am not knocking Androids, but I have got to tell you. I will not get another juice drainer. The phone I had before the Rumour Touch was a juice drainer. I had to carry my charger everywhere I went, and that was a big chagrin in my mind.  I was ashamed of Kyocera one, and myself second. If the price is too good to be true, it damn sure is. That was my biggest mistake. Another rant is about the upcoming Android update to 2.3. I don’t see why people are ranting about Update 2.3 when 2.2 is still working like a charm. My viewpoint is “if it isn’t broken, don’t fix the damn thing.” The last thing people are ranting about is their support at Sprint Nextel stores. Even though that Virgin Mobile is a subsidiary of Sprint, all they do is sell their phones. They just tell you to either go on their website or call 1-888-322-1122 to get help with you mobile. It is as simple as that. I went to the Sprint Nextel store to see about my crack in my battery, and they told me to call Virgin Mobile. Virgin Mobile told me to buy a battery off of Amazon. Fuck buying a battery. I’ll buy a new phone and a new battery.  One of the pitiful cons people said was “ They should have bought the Motorola Triumph.” I think not. Especially if you have a begging stalker. I’ll just leave it at that. When I get that phone, the first thing I am gonna do is get a lock pattern on my phone. Also some people are talking about their phones dying on them in the middle of doing something. I will make sure that the phone has insurance on it.

Well, this is strange. Every single review I have read has been either negative or mixed reviews about the Samsung Intercept. So, since there are no pros, I will tell you what I like about the phone just by looks. It looks like it fits in my holster. Eddie Bauer made a good holster especially for $10, cos it fit my BlackBerry, my Samsung Messager II and my Rumour Touch. I also think that the phone is good because it has a 2GB microSD card included, and that saves you money right there. In my case, I already have a 8GB card in my phone, that I had to pay for myself.

There were many rants about the Samsung Intercept. So, I am gonna come to a consensus of about 5, just like I did with the LG Optimus V. While people are talking on their Intercept, the phone tends to freeze and the phone call ends as a result. Well, too fucking bad. I don’t know, and the only phone I had to do that, I gave that phone to a crackhead, because he really needed a phone. I was not about to use a phone that constantly freezes on my and drops calls because of a malcontent from the phone itself and not the user. Another problem is deja vu. The everlasting hate of the battery power. South Korea isn’t a good hotbed for making conduits for batteries. Another problem is the reliability. Back again with the phones freezing or completely dying mid-task. People have been saying that if they needed to dial 9-1-1 or their local emergency number (because some areas still are in the stone ages), this phone will die out while talking to dispatch. I don’t even know if this phone is e9-1-1 capable! Another problem, is the update to Android 2.2 killed the phone. I don’t know what to say about that, because that is a bitch to answer. If your phone is completely unresponsive and useless, call Samsung and Virgin Mobile. Tell Samsung that your phone is no longer working and tell them how long you have had the phone, and tell Virgin Mobile that this phone is on the fritz as well.  Last but not least, the anger and the threat of throwing the phone against the wall. I have had experiences with Samsung non-Android phones and I feel the exact same way.  But I blog about it. Why not try blogging your problems with your mobile out other netizens who have the same issue that you and I have?

So, if I had the choice of the LG Optimus V or the Samsung Intercept, what phone would I pick? Hands down, the LG Optimus V. It will take me a while to get to it, but like my mum said “Good things happen to those who wait”. Hopefully that meaning means that the price of the Optimus V is going down on Amazon. Then, I would have that phone in my hand.

Things I Will Do When I Turn 21

The things I will do when I turn 21, because within the next 90 minutes, I will be legal to drive, go into an off-licence and to access Newport and Camel websites! So, what do you think I will do when I turn 21? Well, in this blog, I will tell you candidly what I will do when I turn 21. Now, as you may know, Rome wasn’t built in a day, so bear with me on this.

When I turn 21, I will get my driving licence. Now, if in the event that I am back on the buses by the time I turn 22, I will still try to get my licence. I have one question about it. “Why do I have to have insurance on a little hooptie I paid $900 for?” Hopefully, it won’t come to the point where I buy a hooptie for $900 for it to get stuck in the middle of the road. Hopefully, one of my neighbours have lowered the price of his Crown Victoria to about $1,000, so I can at least make payments on the car. He was asking for $2,750 for it, but I am gonna do a Kelley Blue Book on it, where I can get at least a good look at the price I have to pay. I should be paying $1,125 for a 1994 Crown Vic. The reason why I want a Crown Victoria is because I was taught how to drive in a Crown Victoria, and I should be entitled to drive a big car like the Crown Victoria.

When I turn 21, I will find a job and at least afford to make payments on a car. This job opening at Circle K isn’t going too well, and I wanted that job, because it was very close to where my aunt works and she can come by while I am working and get a few accoutrements. They are building a new Wal-Mart on Independence Boulevard (why?) and they need some people to work there. I couldn’t make it to the job fair. Whether it is Carolinas Medical Centre, CP, or even Allied Barton… I need a job, and I am willing to do anything. Except being a drug dealer or a prostitute.  The reason I put Allied Barton dead last, is because Allied Barton is the last place I would apply, and who would ever hire me to do anything. My most wanted job is at Carolinas Medical Centre, because I can get there on the weekends easy, and I wouldn’t have to worry about getting home. I would be able to work a full 12 hour shift.

When I turn 21, I will wean myself off of Abilify. I will make sure that that happens before I pick up a bottle. I will have to remain cognisant of my surroundings and the things that I say, but I was being very well behaved without Abilify. It was when I was on Abilify, that I was making idle threats and all. I am not gonna tell you what I said because if you don’t know, you will never know. I checked website over website, and they told me not to mix my medicines with alcohol because it will impair your judgement and also make you say things that you would never say, and do things you would never do.

 

 

Cigarette Reviews: Liggett And Myers (L&M) Menthol Bold 100s

Liggett and Myers are regarded as being a luxury brand, and at 5 out of 10 stores within walking distance sold them at a price that reflects them as such. The following is a review of the Liggett and Myers Menthol Bold 100s cigarettes.

PRICE: 5 out of 10 stores that I went to that sold Liggett and Myers sold their cigarettes for less than $6.25. When I walked to CVS/pharmacy after having “le tour de Candlewood”, I found these cigarettes to be $3.05 plus tax. After taxes, in North Carolina, you can expect to pay at least $3.27 for a pack of Liggett and Myers. These are regarded as being the second cheapest cigarette you can buy; they cheapest are Galaxy cigarettes. Don’t ask me to make a review about Galaxy cigarettes, because if I get that poor that I have to pay $2.65 for a pack of Galaxy cigarettes, that is my cue to quit smoking.

TASTE: If you are susceptible to dry mouth, go to another cigarette brand. This cigarette at first smoke dried my mouth completely dry, and I had to run into my house for some water while smoking; it will completely dry your mouth out. It tasted very harsh. I thought for a minute, since it was made by Phillip Morris in Virginia, it would been a little less harsh. I think it was my mistake, because at CVS’ checkout, I had to pick between lights or menthol bold. I picked Menthol Bold, because I needed a strong cigarette, but I think this cigarette is out of my league. I didn’t taste like a Newport or even a Marlborough. It tasted like chewing tobacco.

LOOK: The cigarette looks like a regular Newport, with the label encrusted on the filter paper. The pack had a big L&M on it, with MENTHOL BOLD 100s in bold letters and in block letters. It was a dark green, like the dark green from geese dump. I cannot smoke past the line on these cigarettes, because the cigarette burned very quickly.

OVERALL: Dry mouth? Skint on money and need some fags? Pros and cons. Pro: The price is right for those who did not like Seneca. Con: It will dry your mouth completely, and dry mouth is not fun at all.

Go For the Goal-September 2011

I am pleased to announce that I am closer to my goal into getting my LG Optimus V. I can taste it, at the current moment, because I am down to almost $65 left in my Optimus V Fund. Hopefully Virgin Mobile drop the prices down more so it could be easier for me to obtain the phone. What are the chances of that happening? That phone has a $199.99 price tag, but if I get it off of Amazon, I could get it for $123.00 plus shipping and handling. I wouldn’t mind it having that phone, because I would be on the footsteps of outdoing my cousin, who is with Sprint. I can’t go with Sprint—they have some of the highest and most stringent plans. The phone I really want from Sprint is the Samsung Epic 4G or the HTC EVO Shift 4G. I do not know if their $80 unlimited plan has the required bolt-on for the 4G plan. Don’t look for me to pay $80 for an unlimited plan unless I get this job at Circle K. Hopefully, I can get that job at Circle K, and things will be looking alright for me.

But, in the event that my plans are derailed by insufficient funds, or myself getting tired of doing redundant and incessant surveys, I would think of another way of getting my phone. Legally, of course. I don’t wanna go to gaol for larceny. That doesn’t look good on your record at all, and I practise what I preach. My mother already told me not to get my hopes up on any sizable amount of monies for my birthday, since the economy is fucked up, but I am gonna do this. If I get any amount over $25, I will go to CVS and get an Amazon Gift Card—Brian Moynihan can wait. The reason I say that “Brian Moynihan can wait”, is because I made the mistake of going and opening up a bank account with Bank of America, and knowing any money I do get (over $25) is either going into my PayPal for some new jeans or to my Amazon (Optimus V fund), all bets are off of them getting any money from me, because my priorities are into grandfathering my Rumour Touch and getting the Optimus V. If I get any monies under $25, it will go to cigarettes, court costs and RC Cola.

The reason I have been looking at Sprint, is because Sprint is one of the places where me and my job coach was saying to go and apply for; and while I was navigating to their careers page, I saw this sexy phone that I knew I couldn’t afford. But, my cousin has a phone just like that, and that means we will be confusing each other looking for our bloody phones, and other shit like that. I know that if I get a job from Sprint, I could get the HTC EVO Shift 4G. I would rather try out HTC for a change, and not be given a lemon like the last Samsung that I got. To think if I got my phone 4 days later, I would have been with the Samsung Intercept, makes me say ugh! So, with that in mind, I need to be looking at Sprint’s careers website, and try and get a job with them until they outsource their other call centres to India. I wouldn’t mind working in India, but what if they call me a faggot in their language? Even though English is a spoken language there, it isn’t a part of their 8 different languages, and over 100 different aboriginal languages. I could be the pride of the call centre, because I would have been born in America, where I have learned English and a tiddle of Spanish. 

This is “Go for the Goal”. It is in full swing, so buckle up and enjoy the ride. Here is what I am gonna do to get my phone.

• Fuck all the shit that I want or somewhat need. Things like printer ink and new Jordan shorts are at the middle of my list. What happens if I run out of ink when I make the appeal for CATS? Well, they will have to be iridescent, because my appeal will be in colour.
• Screen in to all the surveys offered. It is self explanatory. I have no where to go or anything to do day in and day out. So why not?
• Be on the lookout for the cheapest Android that Virgin Mobile offers.  I just found out that the price of the phone went up $4, so I got to get to work for this phone before I am in a bigger hole.

Ruby Tuesday Coupon

I had a feeling yesterday that Ruby Tuesday was gonna send me a coupon for my birthday (since my birthday is a week away), and guess what? It happened. That makes going to Ruby Tuesday for my birthday appealing to me, because my dinner will be on the house. The last time I went to Ruby Tuesday, I damn near violated my probation (because I think it is unwritten that I can’t leave the county) for Mother’s Day. Ruby Tuesday’s have the best garlic cheese biscuits, and that is about as appealing as Olive Garden’s breadsticks. So, that puts me in the terrible disposition on whether or not to go to either Ruby Tuesday or the Olive Garden. If we go to the Olive Garden, I would go to the Olive Garden at Northlake Mall. If we were to go to Ruby Tuesday, we would either go to the one in Cabarrus County or the one on Arrowood Road. If I was back on CATS, what would I do? Take the easy the route and Ruby Tuesdays on Arrowood Road, where I know I will not get stuck. The reason I don’t wanna get stuck in Cabarrus County, is because they are under the Express Plus tier, and I don’t pay $3.40 to catch the bus. I catch the bus when its on contraflow. With going to the Ruby Tuesday on Arrowood Road, it takes out the guesswork on whether or not I catch the cheaper contraflow bus or pay local fare. Coming soon, I will be getting a Express bus pass. Unfortunately, it will be after my birthday. Oh well, if I choose to go to the Olive Garden, I will have until 19 September to get my hamburger with the melted cheese, and thick ass bacon!

How to get a coupon for your birthday? Just go to this link and sign up for "So Connected". Just follow the instructions, and enter in your birthdate. If you successfully sign up, they will send you a birthday coupon within one week of your birthday. The only problem is, you may have to pay for your French fries and your garlic cheese biscuits. Hell, I’ll buy the garlic cheese biscuits, but a warning. They are so good, you’ll end up eating them in the car on the ride home. I will call Ruby Tuesday on Independence Boulevard and see if the French fries are included, and if not, how much would it cost? So, I called the Ruby Tuesday on Johnston Road in pernickety ass Ballantyne.  They told me that French fries are included. So, really, you only pay for your drink. Which I can do that. I am happy that I can go to Ruby Tuesday, get some grub for free and only pay for garlic cheese biscuits and soda pop. That is very nice, Ruby Tuesday. What I might do, is go on to RubyToGo and order me a hamburger, fries and some garlic cheese biscuits.  Happy birthday!

Operation Sexy

I am motivated by what Dr Oz is saying about “If you lose 35lbs, you gain an inch on your dick”. So with that in mind, Operation Sexy is in full swing, and there is nothing that is gonna stop me. So, what am I gonna do to help me lose weight and get my sexiness back? Well, there is nothing that I can’t do, so here is what I am gonna do.

• Everyday, go walking. Walking is a good form of exercise that is gonna help out in the long run.
• Do the Insanity fitness tape. I will do that 5 or 6 times a week, so that I can get back down to at least 200lbs.
• I am gonna watch what I eat. This is one of the hardest things to do within my house, because the only food that we buy is the cheap greasy shit.
• I am gonna continue to try and quit smoking. That is one of the hardest things to do within me, because I am being stressed out by everything from kids to family and everything else in between.

As we speak, I am gonna set my Dream Machine to 5:30 and walk to and from Circle K and back. There is nothing like a walk to start your day. Some days, I might walk to Bi-Lo which is a couple of miles, while the Circle K is only 1 mile up the road. If I am motivated enough to lose weight, I will walk everyday, though it will be hard to wake up before the heat of the morning, and walk. Also, in the area that I am here, is not the safest to go walking at 6:00 in the morning. But if you want to get your sexy back, you will do anything.

I bought Insanity and I will get my money’s worth. If I don’t lose any weight, that is about $110 down the drain. Anyways, I will do that Mondays thru Saturdays, according to the calendar that was in my box I got from BeachBody, and according to that, there is only one day that I will have free to do something else that is healthy. That day is Sunday. It takes a day like Sunday to stop exercising and worship the person who made people the way that they are. There is one problem, they gave me a recipe of things to optimise the Insanity experience. The only problem is, I eat only 1/3 of what they have in the recipe book.

In my family, we put perspective on fast food and the tastiness of fried food. Even though we do not use lard or any additional fattening, it still is unhealthy to eat fried food every day. So, my aunt came to the rescue and bought my mum a George Foreman grill and what has that done? That helps cut out some of the liquidised fat and made the food tastier, but it does not compare to the tastiness to fried food. If we could do that with already fried food, I would be in Heaven. Anyways, I will try and watch what I eat. When we go grocery shopping again, I will be on the lookout for fruits and vegetables and some salads.

I have tried to quit smoking this morning, which failed after spending 10 hours without having a cigarette. I had to run to the loosie man and buy two Newport longs. I will try again when I don’t have money or cigarettes at my disposal. The only problem that I have is if I quit smoking, will I gain more weight? If that is so, I will not quit smoking. I will wean myself of cigarettes to smoking only 2 a day.

I am currently 235lbs, and my goal is to get back to 175lbs. I know that is a lot to lose, but I really need to lose this weight and try and be more sexy, even if I will have to buy an entire new wardrobe. I find it easier to find clothes that I like that when I am in my 30 waist sizes. Don’t get me wrong—I can still find some good clothes when I am a size 42, but there are some things that aren’t meant to be. And don’t think I am doing this to woo anyone, because if I did, they should have taken me as I am, or have nothing at all. I am not fat, by any means; I am just a little on the plus side, which that ain’t a problem. Remember, everyone is beautiful in their own way.

Pride Charlotte 2011

I know none of my readers read my “Things Occurring” side of the blog, so here is what happened. Despite the winds and shit from Hurricane Irene, and her causing a mini haboob in Centre City, I still made my way to Pride. So, I got to Pride at 13:00 on the nose, and what I could see obviously, is that this year’s Pride is smaller, and more people were crammed within the small confines of Uptown Charlotte. There were a couple of new vendors, as well as old vendors under new management. At least I know my wherewithal with my cigarette brands, because even though I am not 21 yet, I am glad that Camel Suite made it back. Wells Fargo came, which they always sponsored Gay Pride in Charlotte. And another thing: while driving my aunt to the Hospital for her gruelling 12 hour shift, the Duke Energy Centre was coloured as a rainbow. My mother was wondering what was that all about. I told her, that obviously for Gay Pride. I was surprised to see the Duke Energy was there themselves. Those money grubbing bastards came. That makes me happy when my mum pays her electric bill every month, so good looking out at those at Duke Energy, and thanks for showing your wavering support for the LGBT community within your electrical territory.

Charlotte Police was on full swing, so that the crowd of people with “God Has A Better Way (or some crap)”kept at bay with their homophobic slurs, because a couple of people were about to slap the shit out of them. They tried giving me literature about “rainbows” and why it doesn’t amount to anything in the gay community, but I went and through it in file 13. Gladly. There were only a couple of problems that I encountered, but those problems are only minor. First of all, those people with a “God Has A Better Way” shirt should have been banned and confined to a small area on the kerb. When the Pride was at the North Carolina Music Factory, the “God Has A Better Way” gang and those who were thrusting their Bible blurting spit and bullshit was confined to the kerb on Hamilton Street. That was nice of them, because once I passed the Fillmore, they were out of sight and out of mind. Second of all, the infrastructure of Uptown Charlotte made for cramped spaces. When the Pride was at the North Carolina Music Factory and at Gateway village, it gave for a lot of room to breathe, and people weren’t bumping into each other. They had to close off South Tryon Street because of Pride, but I don’t think it caused as much of a traffic fracas because it was on a Saturday. Last but not least, Barefoot Wine should have had a limit to how many drinks someone could have. This drunkard came to the Barefoot Wine 3 times to taste some wines, and he already looked knackered; so if they gave him another taste of wine, that was a liability. That wine was looking tempting, but I am a classy nigga. I will start drinking in moderation when I turn 21. When I turn 21, I want me a bottle of the finest Chablis. Not that nasty ass shit muscadine wine from Rodanthe. Poor muscadines, all fucked up now because of Hurricane Irene. I tell you, trying to smoke a fag in her 30mph winds is incomparable to a short breeze.

I wanted Frito Lay to bring their shirts, so at least they could be sold to the masses. Their shirts used to say “It’s Okay to Be Gay At Frito-Lay”, which is endearing to me, as I am at the current moment watching Hurricane Irene move up Virginia, typing this blog entry and eating a bag of Sun Chips. Damn, these Sun Chips taste good. The Broke Straight Boys didn’t come this year, maybe because it was too small for them to come. Damn, because if my mum didn’t give me a speech on why CPD has a squad to try and get every gay man and girl arrested on Pride day, I would have ploughed one or two of them white boys till next week. But the Bear Squad came, and they were looking fine as hell. They consider me a cub, because I am 240lbs and little hair on my chest. That is nice to know, but I am trying to get my body back to summer status, anyway I can. I wanna go back to wearing a size 34, at least. Food Lion, as always came with shopping list post-it notes and crackers. I already still have shopping post-it notes from the CIAA tournament and SpeedStreet. But it was nice of them to come by. I didn’t know that a large regional supermarket chain had so much love for the LGBT community, and that makes me happy on shopping with them. There was this kiosk that I thought was a little bit communist in a way. The United States Green Party, where they were talking about gun control (which I am iffy about), non violence, making recycling compulsory and environmentalism.  There were some things that were tempting, like repealing the ban on gay marriages, and eliminating homelessness. My only problem is, if a crackhead gets a house, that will turn into a crackhouse. Knowing, we don’t need any more crack houses in this city, because there are about 3,000 homeless people in Charlotte, a city over 730,000 people.

I will be going to Gay Pride next year, and next year, I will be looking mighty fine for all the cute boys and girls around. I will also have some sort of transportation to get there and back on my free will. So until 2012, keep your head up, and don’t forget, God makes no mistakes in making us gay or lesbian. Now, I might go to Blues, Brews and Broads, or whatever the hell the name is, and I will make a blog about that.

Questions on WordPress- August 2011

People come to my WordPress with some questions that needs to be answered. Some of these questions may be personal in nature and it may also be one of the 3% of a company my probation officer doesn’t want me blogging about. So, my answers may be on the provocative side, but as you read the disclaimer in my blog entryway, it tells you to click the red X.

1. Which end of a Swisher Sweet to light? Well, what I do, is whatever side that isn’t slanted out and pointy, that is the side I light. The slanted and pointy side is the side you smoke.

2. How much are Newport Lights cigarettes?  It all depends on the state or province you are in. If you are in North Carolina, it can cost anything between $4.55 to about 6.55. If you are in New York, the cost of cigarettes are about $13, so it might be best if you buy cartons in that state.

3. Does Steve off of American Dad! has Asperger Syndrome? Even though he shows traits of being an Aspie, I cannot say whether or not he has Asperger Syndrome, because they have never made an episode about autism or Aspergers.

4. Should I buy the LG Optimus V or the Motorola Triumph? It is all about how much money you have on your budget for you to buy. If you are like me—buying on pure Amazon gift cards—you would be better off saving some money and buying the LG Optimus V. Even though the cost is about $25 cheaper if you bought from Amazon, I would have loved it if you bought the phone from a brick and mortar store.

5. What quality is LG Optimus V camera? From what I have heard, this camera features a 3.2 megapixel camera and takes some good face pictures. If you are looking for camera quality better than 3.2 megapixels, you might have to move to the Motorola Triumph.

6. Will Yung Shawty go to Gay Pride? Damn right! I have to go, because this is the event I marked my calendar for and I put in my BlackBerry that if I had to wake up at 5:30 to walk into Charlotte for it, I would do so. Only if Gay Pride is cancelled due to the scare of Hurricane Irene making landfall in North Carolina, will stop me from going to gay pride.

7. Do they make cases for the Motorola Triumph?  They sure do, and dirt cheap, I might add. Look on Amazon, and in the keyword bar, type up “Motorola Triumph covers”.

8. Why don’t people smoke Swisher Sweet cigarettes? Because Swisher Sweets are not a cigarette. It is a cigarillo, and the tobacco is usually taken out to change over to weed. People into weed would know how to tinker around with a Swisher. I am not a weed expert, all I know is that it is considered drug paraphernalia.

9. If you initiate a warrant for communicating threats, are you required to appear in court? If you want further action made, yes, and if you do not show up in court, the case will be dismissed. You will get a summons telling you to appear in court.

10. Does the Motorola Triumph connect to a different network than the Optimus V? No. It will both connect to Virgin Mobile’s 1X-EVDO version A, powered by Sprint’s network. Virgin Mobile is a part of the Sprint network.

11. Will my bill still be $25 or will it go up? If you were already on the Virgin Mobile $25 plan before they upped the price $10, you are grandfathered into the plan. One warning is if your account goes into expiry because of non-payment, you will be automatically be moved to the $35 plan. Another warning, if you move to their either $45 or $55 plan rates, you will no longer be in the grandfathered plan.

First Day Of School For Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools

I have always loved the First Day of School. This is the day where you can make a good impression on your teacher that will last a lifetime. Or throughout the school year at that. But there is some problems as well. First of all, the problem with deciphering which school bus is your school bus and whether or not you will have a seat on the bus. From 1st form to 6th form, I had to worry about which bus I was to get on, or do I follow suit with my cousin and just catch any bus that comes along.  Secondly, getting acclimatised to a new bell schedule From Year 6 to 1st Form and from 3rd form to 4th form, school was from 8:45 to 15:45; second form, from 8:00 to 15:00; and 5th and 6th form from 7:15 to 14:15. I absolutely hated it when it was from 8:45-15:45 in high school. At that time, I watched Maury Povich, who came on at 14:00 and 16:00, I was damned if I miss that episode. Thirdly, having to weed out those who I would like to sit next to when I am in my learning process. I have had a pretty good rapport with most of my old high school classmates, but some teacher’s put me in a very sticky situation, if I do say so myself, by putting me near a bully or two. I asks to be moved away from all those who do not want the learning process to be engraved in their minds, because I have to learn.

At school, most people think that there is gonna be a good lunch for the first day of school. Wrong. The best lunches are during the last fortnight of school because pizza and fries are usually free. School food looks and tastes just like the food that I had in gaol. I didn’t eat lunch a lot during 6th Form, because I used to skip and go to the Transit to get something from the Burger King (at that time, that is the closest Burger King between Providence Road and Wilkinson Boulevard.) I was going to Bojangle’s for breakfast because the food there made people sick, and I saw a big water bug (or cockroach) in the cafeteria. That is what stopped me from eating in the caff. The food in the caff wasn’t good, nor was it very nutritious. If I wasn’t gonna get any nutrients, why not eat at Burger King? At least Burger King taste better than most school food, even Dominoes’ Pizza! Dominoes’ Pizza taste like denture paste and cardboard, back then.

Someone asked me at Family Dollar yesterday “What school did you used to go to?” I told them, I went to Garinger, unfortunately. Why did I say unfortunately? Because the principal was a bald headed scalawag, there were fights almost every day, and there was no way of learning in Garinger. All my teachers were ignoramuses. All they wanted to do was talk about gay people, whipping children, sex with their wives, and other things that people do not wanna hear unless it is a part of planned parenthood, sex ed or just being homophobes. If I could tell you to steer clear of Garinger, I would tell you that in a heartbeat. Don’t go to Cochrane, either. They are moving Garinger students to Cochrane, so I am putting an educational advisory to “reconsider their need to go to Garinger or Cochrane due to no good educators.”

Pryor Day

Today is a boring day, apart from an earthquake rocking the city of Charlotte. 1 year ago on this day, something happened to me that I will never forget. On 23 August 2010, I was an inmate at the Mecklenburg County Gaol. I will give you a timeline of what happened. I woke up in the morning at around 9:00. When I got up, I took a shower, put on some clothes. I remember it pretty well. I had on a white shirt, some 8732 jeans and Nike Hyperize shoes. I left the house at 9:30, and went to the local convenience store and got 2 RC Colas. RC Cola is my vice. I then went to the Loosie Man and got $2.75 worth of cigarettes—I had the feeling that things were going to go dinkum. If I had that feeling, I wouldn’t have bought a pack of cigarettes, because they will throw away cigarettes at first sight.  $2.75 would have gotten you 8 cigarettes. I was walking about to catch the Number 23 bus (The bus that came first), and I got on. I felt more and more uneasy, and the bus was late, so that made the feeling worse. I called my mum when the bus got to the Transit.  I had told her that I was going to the Panda Express on Tyvola Road and that I was gonna call her back when I got to the courthouse. So, I get on the train and I stop at Tyvola Station. I was talking to my nigga, and he was telling me to pray to God before doing anything else. So, I spent the entire walk having a talk with God. I get to Panda Express at 11:07.  I get the 3 entree plate… fried rice, double broccoli beef, and orange chicken. Panda Express’ orange chicken makes you take a shit, and if I was gonna go to gaol, I would want my ass to be squeaky clean, because I refuse to take a shit in gaol.

So, after that, I walk back to the train station, and get back on the train going towards Uptown, and I see my ex-girlfriend. Yes, I said ex-girlfriend; you thought I was really gay?  Anyways, I am on the train, and my ex-girlfriend sees me not looking myself. She asks me what’s wrong? I told her that I was going to domestic violence court and I might go to gaol. It was about 11:45 then, so I went into the belfry of the Transit, and I ate there. Like clockwork, my ass was calling for me to take a shit after eating Panda Express’ orange chicken, at about 12:45. So, I go to the Hilton and drop my kids off at the pool. When I get out, it was about 13:05. I meet one of my friends at the Transit, where he was needing a fag—he was in the same predicament I was in. I give him a fag. It was about 13:15 after me and him was talking and kissing, so I walked to catch that short red bus to the courthouse. It was about 13:30 when I got to the courthouse, so I walk through the courthouse, spend a couple of minutes in a queue at the security checkpoint. So, when I got to the courtroom, it was 13:37 and my heart stopped. What happened? The faggot nigga came. The only identifier is the name of this blog. When I heard my name called, I said “Here!” and I walked out. It was about 13:45 I told the usher bailiffs that if the judge called my name, that I am out having a fag. I spent 30 minutes on the phone screaming to the phone and smoking cigarettes. I had to ring my mum to tell her that the motherfucker came to court. I sat in the courtroom from 14:15 onwards to 15:45, when they called “Pryor v Blocker”. He swore to the Holy Bible and I attested, because at that time, I instantly turned atheist when I saw that motherfucker in the courtroom—the same goddamn courtroom. My public defender told the Judge Chapman, that he felt that I needed a psychological evaluation. I felt in my mind that the pair of them had it out for me.  So, what happened was the judge said these exact words, “I would like the bailiffs to take you into the custody of Carolinas Behavioural Health.”

So what ended up happening, was I spent 3 days in Gaol Central, and 8 days in Gaol Annex with no one I knew. How the fuck could that happen? Well, if you call a puss ass motherfucker a faggot and cuss him out at his bus and he issues a restraining order, and he issues a violation, you can expect to not be in your comfortable bed and out your kit for at least 30 days. This blog will continue on Hands Day.

Why I Am at Home Instead of Jury Duty

The reason I am not at Jury Duty is because I rescheduled my time to report to some time in February of 2012. Then, most likely I will have some sort of transportation to get to and from the Courthouse. Back in July, the Sheriff Department in Mecklenburg County gave me a summons to be in a jury. I don’t think I could permanently get out of it because I have Asperger Syndrome—which is a form of autism. After all I have heard about Jury Duty, albeit watching American Dad!, I have said “Fuck Jury Duty. It is the fastest way to go to gaol, a place where I don’t wanna be.” So, what happened is, since I cannot take a excusal from jury duty because of my Aspergers, I would have to take a deferral, so I can at least be there, and have a way to go as well. As you already know, I am banned from riding the buses in Charlotte. As much as I would love to do something that makes me feel like a normal human being, I got to first get out of this situation before I can do Jury Duty on a clear head. I wasn’t too ready anyways…

First of all, they want me to report to the courthouse at 08:00 and stay there until 17:00. How in the hell am I to eat at 06:00 when my I don’t cook, nor have money? Also, my vanity would be out of whack because I wouldn’t be able to take a shower at 05:00 and be out the door by 06:15.  Lunch is not provided, but local restaurants have juror discounts. Still, there is money involved. Money doesn’t grow on trees, and knowing if I am stopped by my own stalker—knowing everytime he sees me, he wants me to either give him money or to use my phone—I will be even broke than I was beforehand. Only plastic cutlery is allowed in someone’s lunch bag—Shit! I forgot about lunch. They say you can bring your lunch, and there is a fridge available. You cannot have friends or family in the Jury Assembly Room, which is a bummer.

They will give you $12 the first day, $20 on day two through 5, and if you are very fortunate, day 6 through whenever long, equals $40 in your pocket or in your petrol tank. That part of the John Belk Freeway is a parking lot day in and day out, so, that money will most likely be going into your petrol fund.  They have a little Smaland for the children of the jurors, just like IKEA, but if I were them, I would keep my kids either at home or at school.  Business attire is required. That means, I can’t wear Coogi and American Eagle. That means, having to wear church clothing, like some people would say.  If a hurricane hit today, court would still be in session, but they want you to tune into local TV Stations (like NewsChannel 36 and WBTV 3) before to leaving the house en route to the courthouse. They do have Wi-Fi, so I would continue to blog whilst I am in the Courthouse.

Getting money to go through Jury Duty is just like doing a survey! But, if I wanna be in Jury Duty for a couple of weeks, I need to watch what I say. I did forget to say this… They told us not to watch evening news broadcasts, so I don’t know what will be happening with the case. Well, consider it done, because I only watch the news at one time. 16:00. Between that lull between Judge Judy episodes, I think that the news reporters made the news short and succinct so it won’t bore the hell out of me. Court would still be in session during the 16:00 newscast, so there wouldn’t be a problem.

Cigarette Review: Marlborough Menthol (Green) 100s

I am surprised that I enjoyed the Marlborough cigarette, and it isn’t as strong as a Newport  (Menthol). It was actually a mellow cigarette. So, if I need to amend this blog entry, I could do so; but I think that it will not be called upon for me to do so.

PRICE: I bought these cigarettes from CVS/pharmacy for about $4.55 and if you buy them from a convenience store, it can cost up to $2 more. Now, please note that this is in North Carolina, where cigarettes can cost between $2.89 (for a pack of Galaxy cigarettes) to $7 (for a pack of L&M or Pall Mall). I think that is the cheapest you will find for a pack of Marlborough cigarettes, so cigarette savvy shoppers, rejoice!

TASTE: It taste better than a Marlborough Red because it has menthol in it. I am surprised that it tasted like a Newport, and like a cigarette should. It didn’t make me as dizzy and lightheaded as a Newport would, so that is also a plus in my book.  The menthol is not overpowering the cigarette, and it has adequate menthol-tobacco ratio. If I could rate the Marlborough green, I would give it a not bad, but well deserved 7.

LOOK: It looks like a regular cigarette with the filter being brown. I thought that Marlborough was gonna have white filters, but I was pleased when I found out that it wasn’t the case. This is a small minus—if I find the Svengali who stole my Newport, and they take this cigarette out of my hand—which looks like a Newport in EVERY SINGLE WAY except the name on the cigarette, they would be on my ass about that. But I don’t care; you don’t take cigarettes out of peoples hands. Some people are so iridescent that they will do that just for the thrill. The pack looks like any old pack of Marlborough cigarettes, except it is in a green pack instead of other colours in their copious nomenclature.

OVERALL: This cigarette amazed me, in every way imaginable. I asked a lady at the checkout at CVS (before I opened up the pack), and she told me that Marlborough cigarettes are not as strong as a Newport cigarette. And the phlegm is staying in my lungs, where they should be instead of in the loo.

I Am Sorry

… for misleading you all to thinking that I am never gonna make a review about Marlboro Menthol 100s. I have a pack of Marlboro menthol 100s waiting for me to smoke after I get finished with these Camel No.9 Menthe 100s. Now, I think the name should be changed from Marlboro to Marlborough, because Marlborough looks better. I will start calling them Marlborough cigarette to show my support for the name change.

Now, the reason I have said that I will never make a review about Marlborough Menthol 100s, someone gave me a Marlborough Red and I absolutely hated it. It had me coughing up phlegm balls the size of golf balls. The main reason why I bought Marlboroughs this time is because the cost was comparable to a Camel. And since CVS didn’t have my regular brand (Camel No.9 Menthe 100s; I bought the last pack on Tuesday), I thought I would change for a minute and smoke a Marlborough. The best thing about it is that I won’t have “gangstas” steal my cigarettes, unless they wanna have that same experience I had back some odd 7 months ago. Yes, it has been 7 months ago since I had my last Marlborough Red. Also, their nomenclature is off whack too. I would associate Reds as Non Menthol, Green as Menthol, Blue as Lights, Gold as Ultra Lights, and Silvers as Mediums. At least they got the green and red correct.  I also did not know that they had ultra kings sizes as well. That is the 72mm cigarettes. I first encountered it when I went to our local bodega, La Carneceria la Mexicana. I tell you, I didn’t think that Latinos smoked, but when I saw this gay Mexican getting some Marlborough 72s, I said “Damn. I think I should get this guy’s number. He smokes and he’s gay.

So, I will give it another try, but I will tell you this… If this cigarette gives me any bother, I will stop. Let me tell you this: The only reason I bought a pack of Marlborough cigarettes, because this will be my last time smoking anything. I had a good run at it, and since there is not enough stressors in my life, I am no longer in need of that crutch. But I will be tempted again to start back smoking if any other stressors hit me.

LG Optimus V or Motorola Triumph?

Child, Virgin Mobile went mental when they brought the Motorola Triumph to their phone lineup. That phone causes my heart to skip a beat because of how it looks, and the price. That is the reason I am making a blog entry on whether or not I am gonna pick the Optimus V or the Triumph. This blog entry will compile some of the things that you and I would want in a phone the most.

The LG Optimus V is $149.99 at the time that I am writing this blog. It features a 3.2mp camera, VGA video quality, 3.2” touchscreen, access to the Sprint 3G network and more people can afford this phone. I wouldn’t mind getting this phone on Amazon, which is about $25 cheaper than buying it from the stores or on Virgin Mobile’s website.  I don’t truly care for the aesthetics of a phone, as long as it has Android. And as a holder of a touchscreen phone at the current moment, I think it is time for me to change my phone to something more professional looking. Mainly what I am looking for in a phone is the capability of sending high quality videos to YouTube, Wi-Fi, and Google Latitude. I would like to know where my phone is at all times, just in case some Svengali tries to steal my phone.

The Motorola Triumph is at a pricey $299.99 at the time I am writing this blog. It features a 5mp camera, 720p video quality, 4.2” touchscreen, and access to the same Sprint 3G Network. If I had the money to splurge on me a phone, I would get it, but there would have to be stringent security on the phone. This is a phone where Google Latitude is a must just in case some svengali steal your phone. I am thinking that this the iPhone for Virgin Mobile.

If I had to pick what phone I would get right now, I would get the LG Optimus V. Since I don’t have a lot of money and I am on a strict budget, I might buy one from Amazon and save a few dollars and cents. There is a problem, though. I am grandfathered into the $25 plan. I was reading a forum and they told me not to change my number, phone, or address as that will raise my bill up to $35. I will make sure before I change my phone, to call Virgin Mobile at *86 and make sure that my bill still stay $25. I am still trying to coerce my family to get me that as a birthday gift, either that or I will continue doing surveys and hold all my monies in Amazon contempt, and just add on as I go. Hopefully I can get to the $120 fast.

 

Cigarette Reviews: Newport Lights (Gold) 100s

This is the lightest cigarette I have ever smoked, and it tasted very well. While people were hawking up phlegm with Newport Regulars, I don’t hack up any phlegm when smoking this cigarette. Why is that? My throat enjoyed all 20 of the cigarettes apportioned.

PRICE: It costs all the same if you buy a Newport Menthol or a Newport Menthol Medium pack. It will cost a dollar more if you are moving from Newport Non-Menthol (red box). It costs about $5, which is money well spent. Some local convenience stores will charge less than $5—it all depends on what locale you are in. If you buy them from a pharmacy, it may cost in upwards of $6. I think that the most I will buy a pack of Newport Lights (or any cigarette in that case) is $5.75.

TASTE: It tasted like a Newport Regular without all of the harsh menthol, which is a plus. It had only a hint of menthol, which did not overpower the taste of the tobacco that is supposed to encompass the cigarette.

LOOK: I was appalled when I found out that most of the cigarettes were not filled to the brim with tobacco. I had to smoke paper before I could get to the actual tobacco. Anyways, It looks like a regular Newport, except the Newport moniker is on the filter and not on the shaft of the cigarette.  The filter colour looked like an Oldport which was first of all a deal breaker, because I was scarred for life by Oldports.  Now to those who don’t know what an Oldport is, an Oldport is a Newport Non-menthol cigarette.

OVERALL: Newports have saved the day for their smokers who cannot get acclimated to their regular cigarettes. My lungs have never been happier than when I found the joy of a Newport Light.